Exterminate the Rodents, Roast the Pig, & Sex Up Your Bathrooms

The Hawkeyes pounded the Golden Gophers 55-0 on Saturday evening to close out a 8-4 regular season. The A$$ kicking was historic:

The Hawkeyes (8-4, 5-3 Big Ten) handed the Gophers their most lopsided defeat in the 102-year history of the series and their worst home loss ever in conference play. In the Kirk Ferentz era, it was Iowa's most one-sided Big Ten win and the first shutout for the Hawkeyes in the league. Iowa rolled up 483 yards, limited the Gophers to 134, including minus-7 rushing, and held Minnesota to six first downs.

After the Rodents were exterminated for good, it was time for the Hawks to hoist Floyd of Rosedale and have another pig roast party.


Due to the Rodents moving into a new on campus stadium in 2008, this game was the last in the Metrodome, aka Kinnick North. Two adulterous Hawk fans made sure it was a memorable going away bash.

Two Iowa football fans were caught having sex in a bathroom stall at the Metrodome during Saturday’s Minnesota-Iowa game.

According to a police report, a Metrodome security officer saw two people having sex in a handicapped stall after noticing two sets of feet with underwear dropped to the ground.

A group of 15 onlookers were gawking at the scene by the time officers broke the couple up and wrote them misdemeanor citations.

This is my favorite part:

The officer arrived and separated the two. The 38-year-old female and the 26-year-old male, both in town from Iowa, were cited for indecent conduct before being released, respectively, to their husband and girlfriend.

Who says the only way to get busy in a men's stall in Minneapolis is by a game of foot tapping? The Hawkeye Cougar found her prey and the dude obliged. Unless this is some epic swingers club, I would love to have a seat at both of their respective Thanksgiving Day tables.

Hawkeye Nation did behave on the field by not attempting to rip the goal posts out of the stadium like in 2002. This video still gives me goose bumps.



Oh, I was on the field and it was awesome. I gave my buddy Racho a high five as he rolled by me at the midfield with the goal posts in his arms.

Shonn Greene for Heisman!!

Props to Black Heart Gold Pants for the Pictures

Update: The dudes at BHGP have weighed on this classic story quicker than a drunk mowing down a Ped Mall Gyro at 2:30am. They always bring the funny:

Since the two weren't arrested, we're denied the richer-than-chocolate privilege of seeing mugshots. I, for one, hope the lady's either really hot or just beastly. No half-stepping here.

But that's not even the best part of the story. The two Iowa fans (as if there was any doubt at all) were both in a committed relationship. Just, uh, not with each other. The police released the man to his girlfriend, and the woman to her husband. Yeah. She came up from Iowa to the game with her spouse, and couldn't make it the whole game without sneaking into the men's room and getting filled up by some dude a dozen years younger while a bunch of people cheer them on.

MMMM, In Heaven.........

Shonn Greene is a Beast!

Iowa Hawkeye's RB Shonn Greene's 2008 performance might have single handily saved Kirk Ferentz's job for another season and provided enough cover to mistakenly allow Ferentz to keep his inept Offensive coordinator Ken O'Keefe.

This program desperately needs new blood but the AD's nick name is Gary "No Balls" Barta. ( BTW, I glossed him with this for his refusal to fire Alford when every fan wanted him gone and my grass roots effort to hire Huggie Bear aka Bob Hugging or VCU's head coach, Anthony Grant never materialized.)

It does not take much to meet the lowered expectations of Hawkeye fans, who get cheery about some crap bowl game and love to make excuses for the program's constant state of mediocrity.

Turnovers, awful coaching decisions, and shaky QB play have hindered the Hawks all fall. The team's main strength is the ability to control the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball, which is usually a solid precursor to victor, and led them to 2 straight victories.

However, I can predict the Hawkeye Tecmo Bowl offense and vanilla defensive schemes. A Ferentz recruited WR has never played one down in the NFL during his 10 years coaching tenure and this year's crop of WRs will not be breaking this embarrassing streak. They have yet to beat a bowl caliber team in 08 and Iowa just destroyed the worst Wisky team that I have seen in years.

I am mildly satisfied with the last 2 wins but I am not chugging the Hawks kool aid like several of my buddies. At least not yet. If the Hawks upset Penn St in 2 weeks and win out their next 4 games, I will be punch drunk on Hawk love.

My cynical views on recent Hawkeye success over struggling Big Ten teams does not stop my man crush on Greene. The bruiser back has been a monster all season, rushing for at least a 100 yards in 8 straight games, and he just demolished those dirty Badgers on Saturday.

His running display is downright nasty in this highlight video. Dare I say Heisman consideration? Man, this Hawkeye aid does taste yummy!