The Real AND ONE TOUR

Alright, My 2pages of game notes was washed in the washer and destroyed. So Im not to happy about re racking my brain to finish writing about this glorified pickup game. Here is my preview, its probably more entertaining than writing about the game would have been. Plus I want to rip on Coach K, real quick.

The 2006 NBA All Star Gane was TIZIGHT!! Actually the game was pretty sloppy, shooting was as chilly as Old Man winter has been this Prez Day weekend, and only the 2nd half provided any assemblance of a real bball game. The East overcame a 17 point halftime defecit to edge out the West by 2. DWade made a key follow up with 20 secs left, and TMac's tying jump shot attempt was tipped(or maybe fouled) by Bron Bron, falling short. Bron Bron was named MVP.

The All Star game just isnt about who lobed an Alley Oop to who or what player had the sick ankle breaking crossover. Over the years, it was about what new black Air Jordans that MJ was debuting, which rapper/actor was sitting in the front row and how ridiclous his outfit was. Or how bad or good the music acts were. This year's games had plently of those highlights.

I decided to do my own NBA blog for the game. Its more of a recap of the game quarter by quarter, expanding on my thoughts. It will not come close to what Sports Guy does, cuz well that is just insanse and Im not getting paid. One side note, its just me on my leather couches with a notebook, writing down my observations of the broadcast. No Mary Jane is inolved, no spliffys have been rolled and I did not pick up any OE for the game. I am still shocked that only the Birdman gets rolled for drugs, which btw, wasnt pot or roids, but some hard core unnamed drug. I plan on getting to the bottom of this. 2 years, costing him millions? seems harsh and somewhat BS.

Sorry, I tend to get off topic, I apologize, you should see me when I talk in person, especially after having a few "pops" in me, watch out!! Im sure my 3 friends who are reading this right now, are chuckling in agreement.

I do not have a headphone set making a podcast, aka, Mark Cuban, cheering for every time my favorite player, not Dirk, but Bullets, Bambi 2 luvin, Big Game Gil Arenas. Im going to put up the link of his Bambi 2 quote from the Wash Post, awesome, I love Gil.

I need to hang out with this dude sometime soon. It might be hard since he is in the gym shooting at 5am and plays pickup games in Southeast DC. 2 places you probably are not going find this whiteboy. I just wished he had a better number than zero. But hey, that is Gil. LOVE GIL, everyone likes to hate on him for some reason I dont get it. He is quicker and stronger than anyone in the NBA, period. He can get to the rack anytime he wants and no one can check him at all. Maybe AI, Tony Parker, and TJ ford might be a shade quicker, but all of them are much smaller than Gil, and they cant finish in traffic like he can. He averages 6 dimes a game so the criticism of him not passing it doesnt fly too far. I LOVE GIL, Love him. Thanks Golden State and Gary St.Jean for not clearing up cap room to resign him. One Big Thanks for GM Ernie Grunfeld, who has many made savy moves since taking over, with Gil's signing as the numero uno flagship move to resurect this doormant Bullet Franchise. Sorry back to the Blog.

Pregame Festivities


The choreograhped Dance moves by the West and East All Star was nearly as entertaining as the game. Yao Ming doing the human wave, that is funnier than almost every skit on SNL right now. I wish the TV shot would have stayed on Yao. Reminded me of the horrible camera production team decision when the Bus ran out onto the field first at the beginning on the Super Bow, and they cut away from him. Bad Work Truck. Anyway, Vince Carter displayed he is far better at dance moves than playing defense or through injuries. The usual suspects Shaq and KG threw in their high caliber comedy Shaq with a Heart attack dance and KG with a Egyptian Strut. Marion surpised me with a Shimy Shake Move.

I hope the teams keep adding more and more to this every year. Definitely a top 5 highlight of the All Star weekend by far. The Sympathnoy Orchestra was a refreshing add too. They even busted into a Crazy Train instrumental. I had some fraternity hazing flashbacks, "it only gets colder boys." No one gets that, there is a reason, and yet, its still funny to me. OH college, damn I miss it. Canadian Anthem was well, the OH Canadian National Anthem. I still do not see the need for it but OH well, its not hurting anything I guess.

Destiny's Child version of the anthem was really good and I usually hate the national anthem. I just dont think its a very good song and yes, Im sure that makes me a commie somehow. I just figured out yesterday I gave over 15K to Uncle Sam in taxes last year, so that gives me some serious Corp Cred to rip on our song. Its pretty much impossible for me to stay on topic and not mention out shitty govt in any writings. Now, "Take Me out to the Ballgame", or "In Heaven, there is no Beer," 2 damn good songs.

My roomate Russennator(Im glossing him that cuz this NBC Oylmpic announcer kept referring to this German skier as the Hermanator, over and over, much to Russ's displeasure) made a comment that they looked aneroxic, which is probably true but I think Beyonce still has her famous thick thighs. Beyonce looked SMOKE N too and I can never figure out for the life of me which one got kicked out. Michelle maybe? I always forget.

Back to Beyonce, Was there a player not on the court who didnt want to bang her? Every black player does for sure. Everytime I read anything about an athlete talking about their dream girl, its almost always her. Only maybe Halle Berry is a distant second. Since all the american white boys suck in the NBA( huge blog coming on this, research is done, and Im hoping it gets me able to post on deadspin. I just found out its by invite only last week) It is down to the Euros and the Hoser Canadian. Nash isnt a hoser, I just wanted to use it. I had the movie Strange Brew on the brain

I can see Nash wanting to crush it, she is a total upgrade from Posh Spice for sure. Gasol looks stoned and like he would HIT anything. I have faith that YAO has became americanized NBA style enough where groupies have thrown themseleves at him, where he is like damn, this girl is hotter than all of them. My only worry would be about the German Dirk. I can see him wrecking my whole theory on this. I think he would want to Brokeback Mtn with Jay Z more. I have heard this before from a legit NBA source.

Yes, It only took that long to have a gay Brokeback Mtn reference. Maybe there is something good to come out of this movie, you can call your straight friend gay without actually using saying it, and its infinitely more funny to use Brokeback Mtn, it is not as offensize, to ya know, gay people. I knew sooner or later political correctness through pop culture would come back around. No, I am still got going to see it either. For entertainment reasons, not homophobic ones.

I am sorry again, for those of you who care that much about the NBA All Star game, to get this far reading, I applaud you. Honestly I forgot where I was. What is even more alarming is that Im looking at 3 pages of notes I have not mentioned yet. God Bless the Internet.

The Game-"Make Some Noise, Let's Play Ball"

YAO is just trying to steal the show, isnt he? His english is all grown up! Thanks to David Stern and his Sternazitaion of the NBA product worldwide, Yao will start every year in this game, forever. China has a Bill to our 280 mil people and they probably make people vote for him or they get jailed. Why care about human rights, when they can make our US products for cheap, steal our jobs, and pollute the earth like we do, with less restrictions.

I like Yao, but he will never dominate in the NBA ever. Rik Smits, Sikma, Zman, or Mark Eaton. I dont remember the home team's player ever addressing the crowd before a game before, maybe this has happen. Which lead to the question, who talks in Vegas next year? Tark the Shark? LJ, Augmon and Greg Anthony? they all made more in college than in the NBA right? The HBO's Callgirls dude? the options are endless. That reminds me, I need to book my flight and hotel to vegas that weekend. NBA is FuNtastic.