Friday, June 15, 2007

This Week in Iraqi Occupation ClusterF^&*!

We have decided to arm the Sunnis in Iraq. We are now training the Shiite dominated Iraqi army and giving arms to their Sunnis. Not only are our troops in a middle of a civil war, we are now giving arms to both sides.

Ice Station

Mac G's Smitten on Sarah Silverman

This Video is NSFW but it is Fn hilarious. The Jewish women used to love Mac G up! So much that Mac G would break out his Jewish alias, Mac G Cohen. Mmmmmmmmm, thats some good Fn Cheese!

Gainsville Cops Need a Life

I read a headline that 2 University of Florida athletes were arrested for mary jane possession. It was just your normal college kid busted story until I read a little closer.

tailback Brandon James and reserve basketball guard Brandon Powell were arrested by Gainesville police during a reverse sting. Powell arranged a meeting with the informant by telephone. Powell and James then met the informant and purchased .8 grams of marijuana for $20, according to details in the report. The sale was recorded on video and audio, the Tribune reported.James dropped the marijuana when approached by police

2 things

  1. 20 freaking bones for .8 grams? Are you buying killer Humboldt? If not, any stoner worth his weight in Doritos will tell you that this is a total rip off. Plus, I am trying to figure out which is worse: setting up such a crappy deal in the first place or doing it over the phone with someone you do not know? Absolute morons. How bout you just arrange a meeting with Al Qaeda over the Internet like the Miami Seven? Even better, try this link.

  2. A undercover sting for a minuscule .8 grams of weed. Unbelievable. What a complete waste of tax payers money to have the Gainsville police force spending their resources on busting nonviolent offenders who are trying to get high on a super small joint. I would recommend having your "stings" involving kilos or lbs and not 2 shake bowls worth of wacky tobacky. Only in Florida and these pigs must be Seminole fans.

ESPN Story

Bonnaroo Music Festival

Mac Gs World has really slacked on our music coverage because we have mad knowledge to bring everyone. We do have a Summer Music Festival preview coming up soon. Bonnaroo kicked off yesterday and the lineup is SICK! They have live streaming all weekend. Enjoy

Live Streaming
Streaming Lineup
Bonnaroo Website

Agent Zero Bike Rides through DC

Mac G will admit to having a serious man crush on Gilbert Arenas. My fondness for Agent Zero was cemented forever last month. Mac G was one of 2000 lucky fans to receive an autograph jersey (personalized with Mac G) and shoe. It cost only 25 bucks for shipping and I was like a 6 year old on Christmas morning opening that package.

Agent Zero's blogs have been must reads in the sports blogosphere, giving fans rare insight into his unique brain. Plus, they are truly high entertainment. Gil did not disappoint with his most recent blog post. He writes about his rehab, his Halo team's success, going on vacation to Tahiti, and wanting a reality show. My favorite part is him admitting to riding his bike around DC. It is great.

Bicycle Built for Zero
I had to get motion back in my legs and get the strength back up so I’ve been biking probably about 18 miles every two to three days.

Me and my trainer have been doing it for the past three summers.

My fear that I was having was falling, that was my biggest fear – falling on my leg. Wouldn’t you know, we were riding on the freeway and I had to get off and go on the pike towards the airport and Crystal City. The people behind me were too close so I couldn’t break and I had to just jump the curb going at least 15 miles an hour.

Whoo! That wasn’t a pretty sight. I had grass stains and all sorts of stuff. I fell on my good leg so it was nothing to worry about. All the cars were stopping and asking, “You alright?” I was like, “Yeah, you know, my ego is hurt but that’s about it.”

I wasn’t wearing a bike helmet. The only people who wear bike helmets are 13-year old girls and Tony Hawk, but that’s skateboarding and he’s doing flips and stuff. I’m going straight. Ha, well I guess I did end up doing a flip off my bike, but it wasn’t a planned one.

Some people recognize me. Sometimes they’ll be shocked like, “Was that him?! I think it was! Why is he riding a bike?!”

Or they’ll just wave. One time I was riding along this street and a bus went by and all the kids on the bus seen me. So, we were going down hill and I was actually moving with the bus, so anytime the bus stops, I’m going past the kids. What happened was, once the bus got about three exits in front of me, the kids all got off. So when I came they stopped me for autographs and then waited for the next bus to come and got on that one.

Gil's Blog
Jersey/Shoe Giveaway
Gil Spotted Bike Riding in Downtown DC

Thursday, June 14, 2007

"Cant Wait to Pop the Bottom off this & Get into that Booga Sugga"

You Can Never Have Enough Will Ferrell Clips

Kelly Clarkson Cancels Summer Tour

Plans for Kelly Clarkson’s summer tour have been shelved for now as the singer and her team re-evaluate her show’s size and scope – a decision made even more difficult by the impending release of her album, “My December.”

Well there go my summer plans! My boys had already planned on being groupies, yelling for GN'R covers every show from the front, and providing her with all the daily hot "dawgs" she needs.

Tour Cancelled

GN'R Screaming

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

"Is there booze in those drinks? Really?"

OU's football program has acknowledged giving their players banned supplements.

Oklahoma blamed one violation on a nutritional company inadvertently shipping a banned substance it identified as "an identical product bearing the same name" as a legal product that had been ordered by the university. In the second instance, Oklahoma reported the football program's strength and conditioning staff failed to review the ingredients of a new nutritional supplement.

Would OU's explanation hold up in a court of law? "Sorry Judge, I never ordered those roids in the mail" or "I had no clue Oxycontin was illegal without a prescription." Come on. This is as believable as Mac G's weekend hangovers being produced by pounding Odouls all night or The Dude's Man White Russians containing only leche. (Ya know that is milk in Spanish) The metaphors are endless. I have one more, 2 words: The Boz.

OU banned substances
Everyday Should Be Saturday's Take

"NFL's Bad Boyz, Bad Boyz, Watcha Going Do?"

The NFL's two top poster boys for bad behavior (Combined 9 arrests in less than 2 years!!) are in the news again today. Bengals WR Chris Henry, already suspended for the first 8 games of the NFL season, is under criminal investigation for allegedly assisting in the beat down of a 16 year old kid that lives in his neighborhood.

Titans CB Adam "Pac Man "Jones has dropped his appeal of his year long suspension. The media consensus is that this action will put him in the good graces of NFL Commish Roger Goddell and make him eligible for a reduced suspension after Week 10. This is on the condition that Pac Man stays out of trouble and does not get arrested again.

Well, this could be problematic for Pac Man as the Las Vegas DA is determining today whether or not to file criminal charger for his involvement in the "Making it Rain" triple shooting at the a Vegas strip club. Police think they have enough evidence to charge Pac Man with felony coercion, misdemeanor battery and misdemeanor threats to life.

Man, where to start with this. Henry is a Fn moron! If true, these charges will be the end of his Bengal and perhaps (See Raiders) NFL career. Giving teenage girls booze and driving blazed with loaded guns is stupid enough, but helping beat up a 16 year old kid? It reminds me of the jumping of the African biker that sent Anthony Soprano over the edge.

Good Ole Pac Man! My southern sources have told me that he just does not give a FLYING F about anything and never backs down. Also, he has been witnessed just pounding moonshine shots all over the Nashville metro area. This is not a good combination to avoid confrontations with the Po Po.

According to this Vegas story it is hard who to believe. First, Pac Man is an idiot to think wads of cash around strippers are just props. When you "make it rain", they grovel. This is how these women make the loot to put food on their kids table and pay for their coke/meth habits. Do you think they stay skinny by pole exercising or eating right? Funny.

Also, it is hard to believe the accounts of bitter strippers and bozo meat head bouncers. Both possess very low credibility and have personal/financial motivation to fabricate stories against Pac Man.

The underlying story that does not get enough attention is both Pac Man and Henry are both West Virginia University alums. (Well alums is stretching it a little bit, to um , ah, a "degree?") What the HE!! is going on in Morgantown?I thought their only claim to fame was their burning couches with great regularity and success.

Head Coach Rich Rodriquez must have some "Keeping It Real" class to go along with his sweet spread offense. I hope this does not affect Pat White's or Steve Slaton's Heisman chances or draft stock. Those dudes are straight up SICK to watch. I guess WVU's AD did clean up their image by hiring Huggie Bear to run their hoops program! OOPS!

I hope Pac Man and Henry do not "Keep it Real" too much and end up like Vernon Franklin.

Chris Henry might have Kept it Real
Pac Man Drops Appeal
Pac Man made it rain
DA to decide Pac Mac charges
UPDATE:Henry is off hook, Kid was lying
I do love the sweet Michael Irvinesq courtroom fur coat Henry is pimping in the TV news staff photo.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Making it RAIN Handshakes in Albania; Watch Mystery Solved

The world has been in uproar the past 2 days trying to figure out if Bush's watch was stolen or not in this clip of his visit to Albania. The White House says today it was NOT Stolen by this Albanian Mob and he had put it in his pocket. This Blog says otherwise. I wish Tony Snow did not have cancer because then I could really rip him for the lies that he spews everyday. They are still not the whoppers an overwhelmed Scott McClellan used to fire away but his Fox News combativeness just makes me want to punch my computer screen.

Anyway, our heavily unpopular president attacked these Albanian worshipers with the same exciting vigor that the Iowa strippers used in scraping up my "rainmaking" dollar bills. GDummy's worldwide credibility is worth about the same as I donated to "Sunshine's" kids' college fund: 2 bucks.

White House:Watch Not Stolen
Still Picture Breakdown of Watch
McCellan Lies

Monday, June 11, 2007

"Elizabeth, It is still Up"

Mac G's World Top 5 Current Annoying Females of 2007 are:

  • Michelle Malkin
  • Ann Coulter
  • Paris Hilton
  • Rosie Odonnell
  • Nancy Grace
I try not to pay attention to all 5 of these women but somehow they creep into Mac G's media world. Nancy Grace is just awful. She thinks everyone is guilty, helped caused a woman to commit suicide last year and famously badgered a 14 year old Elizabeth Smart.
Check out this video where she uses her confrontational style to rip on one of her own TV producers. Grace can not let it go and the ending is obviously edited later. Purely AWESOME!

Kate Walsh Drops F Bombs and Shirt

The only way Mac G would ever post any video of David Spade's talk show is if some TV sexpot tees OFF on the Maxim Hot 100 List and tears her shirt off. Of course this is probably about as staged as Heather Locklear actually being physically attracted to Mr. Spade but it is still funny and very cool. I did find myself agreeing with Joe Dirt about my hard on going limp early in the interview. It was very similar to the the chances of Kate Walsh's Grey's Anatomy Spin Off, "Private Practice" actually succeeding. Enjoy.

"Guess Whos Back, Back Again, Shady's Back, Tell a Friend"

These 2 photos sum up my weekend wedding trip to the heartland. Without getting too much into Mac G's personal life that no one cares about, who are the 3 most essential people for a wedding to actually take place? Bride, Groom and usually a man of cloth to officially wed the two. Well, the pastor had some "emergency," and arrived at 4:35 for a 4 o'clock opening ceremony pitch, leaving a crowded church perplexed. Some even legitimately pondered if a walkout had just occurred. ( I took 4:20 in the, "when does the pastor show up" pool).

The happy couple made it down the aisle and their marathon honeymoon sex show better be happening right now in Mexico.

Mac G and posse closed down the local gentleman's club both weekend nights, located stumbling distance from our Super 8 hotey. Just a slice of summer Americana in the Hawkeye State. Unfortunately, Ossy's Show Club did not have any "talent" that looked like Jordan Monroe.