Friday, February 08, 2008

Little Jerry Seinfeld

I witnessed several Seinfeld episode plot lines over the past week.

The rapid overuse of exclamation points, no washing of the hands in a men's restroom, repeated no god bless you's after sneezing and a guy trying to steal my parking spot as I was backing in to parallel park.

This was part of the genius of Seinfeld creator Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld. You can constantly relate things to a scene of Seinfeld and this is huge reason for its continued success in syndication. The show has been off the live air for almost 10 years.

So when I see this story and video of Pedro Martinez and Juan Marichal cockfighting in the Dominican, I immediately think of one cock fighting machine: Little Jerry Seinfeld.

JERRY: Well, thank you, Marcelino.

MARCELINO: Well, perhaps someday you will do me a favor. And that day is today. Little Jerry Seinfeld must go down in the third round of tomorrow's main event.

JERRY: You want Little Jerry to take a dive?

MARCELINO: Shhh, not so loud.

JERRY: First of all, I don't think you can make a rooster take a dive.

MARCELINO: Can, too!

JERRY: Second of all, Jerry Seinfeld - big or little - doesn't go down for anyone, anywhere, at anytime! Now I'd appreciate it if you please leave.

MARCELINO (leaving): Big Jerry is making a big mistake, Jerry.

JERRY: We'll see about that. Kramer, I'm comin' up! We got a cockfight to win!

Mac Gs World

Pix of the Day

I found an outlet of help for all of those inflicted souls who grace Mac G's World. I am always looking out and Happy Fn Fryday.

Mac Gs World

No Class in the Champaign Room

(Pix Credit:Hoosier Scoop)

This post is directed towards Illinois fan, seriously, time to turn the page on the whole Eric Gordon saga. The 18 year old kid changed his mind about going to your school to play basketball and decided to stay in his hometown state.

Get Over It.

Looking at the on court success of both Illinois and Indiana this year, there is no question that Gordon made the correct decision.

The visceral behavior towards Gordon and his family during Indiana's Double OT win Thursday night was deplorable. The constant booing every time Gordon had the ball got old quickly and left me nauseous.

The Illinois player shoving Gordon in the chest during pregame introductions was over the top and an explicit example of poor sportsmanship.

I coach a 7th grade boys basketball team and I would take that kid out of the starting lineup pronto. If one of my players acted like that towards an opponent, he would be on the bench, pulling splinters out of his ass all game.

This whole Gordon incident makes me feel like passing the luffa to Mike Wilbon on his soapbox. I might have to go watch some B rate smut just to feel dirty again.

Even Gordon's family was not safe from Illini fans harassment as they were pelted with flying objects during the 2ndOT. His dad predicted potential problems:

"My mother and father, my wife, all my kids, my sister, several family members will be there," Gordon Sr. said. "I'm not that worried. Hopefully you don't see me on 'SportsCenter' doing something stupid because somebody did something stupid to a family member."

Luckily, no injuries happened to his family but the Fighting Illini's tremendous gritty effort in a close loss was totally overshadowed by the overly childless and classless game environment.

This opinion is coming from a die hard Hawkeye fan who hates the Hoosier basketball program more than any in D1 and thinks quitter Bob Knight is an ego driven, hypocritical prick.

Maybe Illini fan is still bitter about losing their racist mascot and feel the need to use Gordon as your scapegoat. It is not Gordon's fault that Champaign is a crappy college town and has an ugly student body.

It is not Gordon's problem that basketball coach Bruce Weber appears to only succeed with Bill Self's players and struggles with his own guys.

I would focus your energy on the Illinois football program and admire the work of coaching challenged Ron Zook's impressive ability to keep stockpiling football recruits.

My suggestion is to combine your football and basketball programs with Zook recruiting and Weber coaching.

UPDATE: ESPN's Pat Forde agrees with my analysis of the vengeful Illini crowd.

Mac Gs World

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Pix of Day: JC and Breasts, A Winning Combo

Who needs converted? This picture reminds me of my trip to small town North Carolina over the past weekend.

Being raised as a drunk Irish Catholic, I had never heard such a term as a booze free wedding reception. I had no clue they even existed until I visited one. Yeah, they suck and we had to sneak out into the parking lot just to guzzle 10 ounces of bud light.

The 2 hours at the reception felt like 20 and the things you endure to impress the in-laws.

The highlight of my trip was eating some delicious Carolina BBQ at a place called Hog Heaven. The immaculate flavor of the vinegar based BBQ just melted in my mouth. My mouth waters just thinking about it.

They had a room at Hog Heaven called the "Pig Pen," which was available to rent out for meetings and parties. On my way out I noticed a framed copy of the Ten Commandments. I wanted to add another one:
"I Shall Not Make Fun of Carolina BBQ Ever Again, Only Duke."


Blatche's Local Bordello Busted Up

Last summer Washington Wizards Forward Andray Blatche was arrested for solicitation of a prostitute in the DC Thomas Circle neighborhood.

You can read a blow by blow transcription of his encounter with the undercover police officer here. Blatche first denied his involvement and then had all charges dropped after he completed John School.

I hope other Wizards ballers astutely informed Andray that just one trip to the DC hot spot H20 on a Saturday night would provide him with all the free local hot trim one man would ever need.

In case "John School," did not cure Andray and he still has a hooker itch, it appears that he will have to find a new place to troll for paid "talent."

A prostitution ring working out of the Washington Hotel Plaza in Thomas Circle was busted up and 11 individuals were arrested.

DC John School's enrollment just swelled and still no word, if Andray's services will be needed as a future guest speaker.

No More Hookers in Thomas Circle?

The NCAA is happy as Blatche finally enrolls in S=school
Hooker Set Up?Naw!

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Link Whores

Obama's Speech that Ignited his Presidential Flame

Here is the speech from last November at the Iowa Jefferson Jackson Dinner that started Obama's rise in the Democratic presidential primary process.

You can disagree with Obama's policy proposals or be cynical towards his fresh new political approach but there is no denying that this man can move an audience with his oratory skills and mere presence.

Yes We Can

I am supporting Senator Barack Obama for president. My reasons for the "Mac G Endorsement" are coming up later in a following post but check out this inspirational video.


I have always been a big fan of the spin cycle.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Text Super Bowl Recap

This Super Bowl ending had me more jacked than my body after guzzling one of those new jumbo red bulls. I wanted to try something new and recap my Super Bowl text messages.

I have 2 good buddies who are GMen fans and I do not know any real non bandwagon Patriots fans. If I did, I would have text blasted their ass several one liners, probably just 18-1 over and over.

I received my first Super Bowl related text message from my diehard Giants buddy during the pregame show: Randy Moss is a playoff choker, Harrison is a dirty cheater. Go GIANTS! A new dynasty starts tonite!
My response: Osi need 2 take a dump on Brady

Game Text Messages
My blast text: Kick a FG Bellaprick
My blast text: Alot of Animal Commercials
My blast text: Tuns of gmen fans at game
Inbox: Must not got that Giants Videotape
Inbox: Brady is getting rocked
My repsonse: I like that part

My blast text: Joe Montana never played this bad in a Super Bowl
My blast text: Gmen need to play action more
My blast text: Play Action WHAT! ( Eli throws play action TD on 2nd down, a girl at our place asks what play action means)
Inbox: Giants are going to pull off the upset!
My response: I hope still expect da worst, pats -12 not looking good

Me: Oh My Fn GOD! (Plaxico scores TD!)
Inbox: Pats are Fd
Inbox: Pop it 72, Pop it( This is predictably from a Fins fan, who has been waiting all year to send that text)

Me: Riot n NYC
Inbox: Giants deserved it Pats r sore losers
Inbox: Cheaters never win
Inbox: Another year talking about the greatness of the manning family. Talk more about that family then the Kennedys

Inbox: Nostradomus, i mean plax wasnt too far off, just underestimated his own defense
My response: Wow, U r right!

Inbox: F Yeah
Me: U called it, go gmen!
Inbox: Eighteen and one is a decent season(Giant Buddy)
Inbox: World Champions(Giant Buddy)
Inbox: The 72 Fins live to die another day(Dolphins Buddy)
Inbox: Another one bites the dust. Bellidick is no Shula (Same Dolphins Buddy)

Me to my Hawkeye buddy: A Cyclone getting beat for winning TD is awesum

Me to my Giant friend on Monday morning: R u still partying? Bad guys do lose
Response: Am recovering. Working Sucks. Giants make today great anyway

Hangover Monday

I have 3 observations on the day after Super Bowl, otherwise known as Hangover Monday.

  • The game needs to be moved to Saturday night so fans can have a day of recovery. Some will argue about saving the moniker "Super Bowl Sunday" but some catchy outdated slogan did not help my headache or millions of Americans' headaches this morning.
  • If the NFL continues with the game on Sunday, our government needs to step up and give us Monday off. I do not have facts to back this up but I speculate that other countries have national days for a sporting event. The Super Bowl is americana in a nutshell.
  • It was reported that an impressive 105 million people were tuned in for the final 30 minutes of the Super Bowl. My question is what were the other 200 million people in this country doing? Watching Law and Order Reruns? Figuring in the drama, they missed arguably one of the best final quarters in Super Bowl history.

H/T: Lol Jocks

Erin Andrews Wants Me to DIE

Dear Erin,

We need to have a talk. I am just plowing through my normal Munday routine of chugging java, avoiding work and wishing I did not drink so heavily over the weekend, when I came across your attire on Saturday night.

Most sports fans (ME) are finally recovering from your recent shoe choice of hot heel boots in Happy Valley and now you follow it up with tight spandex pants with high heels? WOWSERS!

What are you trying to do males in this country? Kill us all one by one? Seriously, Erin.

I know it is only a matter of time before my liver gives out but please, this out of nowhere sharp rise in blood pressure might end me much sooner.

I wanted to make you aware of the adverse effect that you are having on the health in society and please takes this into consideration.

An respected admirer and men's health advocate,

Mac G

ps. Please do not take this as a slight towards your fashion sense or think this is personal. I am still drunk from Super Bowl Sunday.

(H/T: Sports by Brooks)

Advise to Press Mute Button

Here is Heidi from the Hills and her music career looks promising. Actually, not so much. She could bag some role on a skinamax late night show. Bikini Girls is constantly looking to upgrade their talent, well, at least that is what someone told me.

I have never watched the Hills. My MTV viewership extends to being hooked on the last Real World Sydney and the new Real World/Road Rules challenge.

The RW/RR challenge show is some high entertainment. Horny drunk dudes hopped up on roids trying to slay smashed slutty reality "stars." It is great.

Plus, I think CT wants to end someone's life on TV or his relationship or both.

Victoria's Secret Ad

The Victoria's Secret Super Bowl party looks intense and overwhelming. I hate Ryan Seacrest even more now.

Perfectville:Population 1

Reebok sure scored with the creation of this 1972 Dolphins commercial. I will have much more on last night's amazing game later and the bad guys do lose in the Super Bowl.