Friday, August 10, 2007

Edible Undies Taste Like Fruit Roll Ups

This is one of my favorite scenes in Curb Your Enthusiasm and the title of my last post. 3:12 is the start of the best line ever. Happy Friday FOCKERS!

Thursday, August 09, 2007

"What, Are You Fn Nuts?"

Most of you are coming to this post from Deadspin. I had a blog post basically ripping on the coach who voted for Duke in the preseason top 25 college football poll. Immediately after making the post, I did a google search and found out Steve Spurrier makes this vote every preseason. I updated my blog right away with a link but I should have redone or deleted the entire blog entry. MY BAD!

Just like a line of one of my favorite songs, Lawyers, Guns, and Money ,

I guess Spurrier's vote is basic common knowledge in the sports world, similar to knowing that Jim Abbot has one hand or Curtis Pride is hearing impaired. Or knowing that Lawrence Taylor loved the Booga Sugar and Mark Chumura liked jail bate in hot tubs. Did you hear that Rick Ankiel used to pitch?

Lt Winslow hit it right on the money with his unintentionally comedy scale line in the comment section. If you can not laught at yourself, who can you laugh at? I am a moron and I throw myself to the mercy of Anonymous Commenters everywhere.

I put the blame on my mom for now being the laughingstock of the sports blogosphere. She made me do chores all day around the house and I was not able to get to the basement computer to put out the firestorm. I am moving out now and her meatloaf sucks anyway.

I will go back to ripping on perverted politicians and hyping up Jon Lovitz's career.

USA Today Poll
Moron Baseball HOF Voters
Hot Duke Chicks

Mac Gs World

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

NFL Fans are Crazy!

One of the secrets of the NFL, aside from their reliance on gambling/fantasy to fuel the sports popularity or the continual downplaying of players' head trauma injuries, is the outrageous fan behavior at games. They revel in getting BOMBED and starting fights. It is spectacle in itself and their actions border criminal behavior.

I have attended a few NFL games in recent years and each time I have worried about my personal safety. I witnessed numerous unruly, fight provoking acts. Drunk Dudes in bathrooms mocking everyone, Continual harassment of visiting teams fans and little regard for the home or away fans sitting around their seat.

My father was a target at a Chiefs game because he wore his Colts gear. Fans yelled "Kansas City, FIRST DOWN" over and over in his face.

I do not advocate bringing any kid under 14 to NFL game. It is not a pleasurable experience, especially at 80-100 a ticket, 7 dollars a beer and 30 dollar parking.

It is a total different atmosphere at a college game. Students and adult fans tend to get rowdy. I have seen a few skirmishes over the years. My favorites were 2 yuppy dudes in their late 40s, fans of Iowa/Iowa State almost come to blows in the mud outside of Jack Trice stadium in Lames USA. Or the Crappy Wisconsin Dirty Badger fans coming into Iowa City and squirting mustard all over the Iowa Student section. It was bad enough that Ron Dayne was running for 300 bazillion yards in a Badger A$$ kicking. This classless dirty badger act almost started a riot in the stands.

However, for the most part college fans are pretty behaved. They focus on showing their school spirit/pride and enjoying the tailgating atmosphere of a college town on Game Day. No one is telling a dad to shut the F up in front of 9 year old kid in his Eagles jersey or wearing a Cowboys jersey to a game not involving the Cowboys and start a F you chant to both teams.

I am probably the most vocal fan that you will find. I will cheer/scream at refs, players, coaches. I will say the same thing from any seat in the house. I never cross the line by trying to start violent acts against complete strangers solely based on the colors of their clothes.

I doubt Mac G will attend any NFL games in person this season. My NFL ticket in HD, with 3 TVs and continuous live fantasy scoring suits me just fine. No overweight drunk guy wearing camo purple fuba pants in a Todd Heap jersey tells me on my couch that the Packers suck. The only people who mock Brett Favre are my friends and I am not afraid of them. I am just scared of my girlfriend, Miss So Bell. Thank God she is not a Raider fan. Check out this Clip.

BTW, This might be the most successful thing someone in a Randy Moss jersey ever accomplished in Raiders stadium. Punks.

Blow Job Bob

A few weeks ago, Mac Gs World highlighted the hypocrisy of moral public crusaders/politicians/republican presidential campaign chairs, Diaper David Vitter and Blowjob Bob Allen. The detailed police report of Blowjob Bob's arrest for trying to get a hummer from an undercover Male police officer in a public restroom has been released.

And As Ned Ryerson panned in Groundhog Day, "ITS A DOOZY!!!!"

After peering over the stall a second time, Allen pushed open the door and joined Kavanaugh inside, the officer wrote. Allen muttered " 'hi,' " and then said, " 'this is kind of a public place, isn't it,' " the report said.

The officer said he asked Allen about going somewhere else and that the legislator suggested going "across the bridge, it's quieter over there."

"Well look, man, I'm trying to make some money; you think you can hook me up with 20 bucks?" Kavanaugh asked Allen.

The officer said Allen responded, "Sure, I can do that, but this place is too public."

Then Kavanaugh said he told Allen, "I wanna know what I gotta do for 20 bucks before we leave.' " He said Allen replied: "I don't know what you're into."

According to Kavanaugh's statement, the officer said, "do you want just [oral sex]?" and Allen replied, "I was thinking you would want one."

The officer said he then asked Allen, "but you'll still give me the 20 bucks for that . . . and that the legislator said, "yeah, I wouldn't argue with that."

Blow Job Bob likes to pay to blow dudes in a public restroom

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

"YO, YO, Where My Wasps At?"

These 2 videos take the East/West Coast rivalry to a whole new level. Martha's Vineyard vs Beverly Hills. Clam Chowder P-Unit Preppies v Boyz in the Hill Prepsters. Props to the Notorious DEK for the finds. Enjoy.

PS. OH, Somewhere Tupac/Biggie just watched this, finished a spliff and threw bottles of OE up against a wall. Shorty WAS a thug and HAD a wicked jump shot. Happy Tuesday

East Coast First Shot Tea Partay

West Coast Responds with their own Green Tea Partay

I think these guys might fall into the P-Unit group.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Big Love with Bill's Libido

My new favorite show is Big Love on HBO. I missed the first season and just started watching this past season. It is great. People focus on the polygamist of the main character, Bill Henrickson, but the show is full of great acting, high drama, sweet writing and fluid story lines.

On last week's episode, Bill feel asleep on accident in the basement couch while being up late doing work and he was awoken to his 3 wives all up in his face. I thought one emotional chick nagging was bad enough. Poor Guy.

He had missed one of their nights to hang out and they were upset. He rotates every 2 nights the time he spends with each wife. Later, Bill proposes a night off a week. His suggestion did got over too well with his original wife Barbara and she kicked him out of bed one night to the couch after an argument.

When a normal man gets banished to the couch, his reward is a night of restless sleep and maybe highlighted by a soft skinamax production.

What does any good polygamist do in that situation? Go over to the hottest wife's house, Margene, mow her box and pin her naked on to the window! Maybe this no coffee and booze mormon stuff could work out after all!

His second wife, Nicki, witnesses Bill's 69 session and she is flabbergasted that Margene would make him do that. This later leads to Bill trying to go down on her but Margene refuses becuase she likes to see his face and instead she just hops on for another holy spirit ride! Mac G needs Bill's libido, he is never out of bullets!

There are various fascinating story lines. Here is a recap of last week's episode from the best blog on the tubes, The House Next Door.
Here are 2 other fans takes on the show.
Big Love Fan
Big Love Fan II

Marge is played by actress Ginnifer Goodwin. She is GREAT and SMOKING HOT. Her hotness came down once I found out she was dating horrible Dbag actor, Kris Klein. Katie Holmes dumped Klein to wed nut job Cruise so maybe he is looking for a look alike. Their looks are strikingly similar.

NetFlix season one or get Season 2 on Demand. Check it out, Monday Nights, 9 eastern on HBO.

Name This Cell Phone Pix

I just witnessed this former Government official limping around downtown DC at lunch time. He looked more confused than Pac Man Jones at a Bushwood Country Club dinner. I thought he was about to enter the Pot Bellys' Sandwich shop for a cookie. Name this MAN...............

Here are some famous quotes from him to help rattle your brains.

"Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know."

"I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was not predictable when it started."

"We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama Bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead."

"We know where they are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat." –on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction

"Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war."

"Freedom's untidy, and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things." –on looting in Iraq after the U.S. invasion, adding "stuff happens"

"As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time."

"[Osama Bin Laden is] either alive and well or alive and not too well or not alive."

The Playmaker Delivers One Final TD

I hated Michael Irvin and the Cowboys growing up. They always ended the Packers playoff hopes and Irvin's TD dance brought me recurring nightmares. Those memories were only rivaled by horrific images of the Cowboy's other WR, Alvin Harper, jumping over Packers short CB Terrell Buckley for TD after playoff TD.

No matter if you liked the Playmaker, there was no disputing he was a straight up baller and one of the top WRs in the 90s. Irvin's inability to be elected in the first 2 years of his Hall of Fame eligibility had more to do with his arrests and egotistical personality off the field than his performance on the field. Also, the HOF election process is a joke and plenty of members need their voting privileges yanked.

I have to admit that I LOVED him wearing a purple mink coat like a PIMP would wear to his drug related court appearance a decade ago. I spent a futile afternoon looking for that photo on the serious tubes and still NO DICE. I would love to see someone track that down. I am still waiting for web address for Marcus Allen's myspace page and video of Jon Lovitz shredding Bud "Hercules" Selig at the Dodger/Giants game last Thursday night.

(I still believe underrated Jay Novacek should be in Canton. The Cowboys ALWAYS went to Novacek on 3rd downs and he was a first down machine.)

Over the past few years Irvin has made repeatedly outrageous comments on ESPN as one of their football analysts. He rubbed a shit load of NFL fans the wrong way and most of his commentary lacked basic common sense. It was all hollow showboat style over true substance. He somehow kept his job, until the higher ups at Bristol finally cut the cord this past off season.

Michael gave his Hall of Fame induction speech on Saturday night and boy did he deliver. He was passionate, humorous, respectful, emotional, appreciative, remorseful, and most of all, inspirational. Here is a transcript of his speech.

pondered a thought that immediately I had on their blog today about where this Michael Irvin has been the past few years. I have no clue.


A couple of readers have raised an intriguing question in response to Michael Irvin's stellar, classic, inspiring Hall of Fame induction speech.

Who is the real Irvin? The guy we saw last night? Or the guy we saw on ESPN over the prior few seasons?

And if the Canton version of Irvin is the real guy, why did he come off as such a complete id-ee-it during his time on ESPN?

Could it be that Irvin was goaded by ESPN producers into adopting an over-the-top buffoonish shtick and that, in time, Irvin became a creation that they could no control?

We recall that Irvin set the stage for his ESPN gig with some work on FSN, but we can't recall whether Irvin was the same guy on FOX that he was on ESPN. If he wasn't, then how did he get that way?

Regardless, we hope the guy we saw last night is now the real Irvin, and that someone else will give that guy another chance in broadcasting. If, and only if, the guy we saw in Canton is the guy who shows up every Sunday.

Irvin started down the road to football fan redemption by his stirring performance in Canton, I just hope he continues on it.

Here is the Video

Copy of Irvin's Speech
Video of Speech