Friday, August 01, 2008

Fear the Cougar

The outstanding humor in this headline is only equaled by the DC local Channel 4 news TV report, which details the loose cougar on the campus of the University of Maryland in College Park. The unintended comedy is off the charts.

Being a long time aficionado of the female cougar species, local authorities are looking in the wrong direction. In CP, go to the bar Bentley's, Frat Row, or a few main dormitories. Luckily for male students, maybe the loose cat probably looks like these two roll royce cougs:

Buck up young Terrapin men, tonight could be the night you become real Cougar prey.

For a refresher on the term "Cougar", check out Cougar Speed Dating.

Four report spotting cougar at U.Md.
Large, Wild Cat Spotted On UMD Campus
Cougar Speed Dating

Mad props to TV Tan line for the pictures and the site has more Weeds stills.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Ludacris Obama is Here

The new Luda Obama song is tizzite but of course with all rap music which speaks about the truth, "it is controversial" because the corporate media has their never ending slanted narrative against Hip Hop. I still blame Tipper Gore, Bill Clinton, and C Delores Tucker for the origins.

Are there still more relevant lyrical lines in 2008 than Public Enemy's "Fight the Power," or Tupac's "they got money for wars but cant feed the poor?" or Biggie's "you are either slinging crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot."
I will refrain from a long rant and check out the Luda video.

I watched a simple rap song with clever lyrics. The media will paint another guilt by association picture of Obama because he admitted to liking Luda's music so that must mean he wrote that song!!! Naturally, Obama is now forced to reject the song. This is so dumb.

However, it is refreshing that Obama knows the words to a Snoop Dogg song.

I would rather see Obama butcher a Snoop tune than parody a Beach Boys song about creating another war in the middle east like John McCain.

NWA's Fight the Power video
Tupac's Keep Ya Head Up video
Notorious B.I.G's Things Done Change video
Obama brushes off Luda lyrics

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Meet the Next Football Freak: Jelani Jenkins

I am not a big fan of these internet sites obsessed over high school athletes and I refuse to pay their hostage fees to get a glimpse inside the fickle minds of teenagers choosing colleges but I came across some video of uber stud Jelani Jenkins that blew me away.

Jenkins is a star RB/LB for Good Counsel High School, a power house prep school in a Maryland suburb of DC. Some feel Maryland has the inside track because his teammate and good friend Caleb Porzel recently committed to the Terps and it near his Silver Spring, Maryland home. Penn State is rumored to be high on his list as well.

I was equally impressed with Jenkins off the field as the nation's top ranked LB recruit has near perfect grades and aspires to be an architect or study kinesiology.

My favorite highlight is when Jenkins runs down a WR from 20 yard behind the play and strips the ball. You can not teach this speed and hitting ability.

Some of the videos repeat highlights but they are definitely worth watching again.

I might have to make trek out to the burbs to watch Jenkins bone crush some dudes this fall.

The Rapid Rise of Jelani Jenkins
Jenkins Rivals Profile
Terps Landing Local DC Area Talent

Mac G's World

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

A True Story to Preview American Olympic Domination in China

A newly minted Mac G's World correspondent, Lil John Stud, is living it up in Beijing this summer. He recently improved diplomatic relations with China in the best way possible by skinning hot Chineese poon.

Hopefully the following story that my American friend emailed is a precursor to many US Olympic golds, specifically Team USA restoring the order in world basketball dominance.

Imagine this:

You are in an exotic city with all kinds of crazy and interesting shit going on but you are really horny and havent' gotten laid in months in spite of the fact you have met like a million beautiful women. So... you make plans to travel. Your plan is to go to towns and cities, to borders, dams and demilitarized zones.

You plan to go to Inner Mongolia, a place best known for riding horses in expansive fields of grass and flowers. Why? -to get away from 'it all' and try to forget about how horny you are, of course. Your trip gets delayed because you have guests, and this increases your urgency to travel.

Then, two days before you leave, the most beautiful of the million women you met demands to come to your dorm room and take a shower at 3pm in the afternoon. Out of your mouth comes, "Hmmmm... I guess that would be alright" and inside, you say " I am the happiest and pimpiest mother fucker in the world! there is a god! Oh God! Oh God! I will never doubt your existence again. Oh God! Oh God!" and "I hope the cleaning lady replaced my bed sheets today!?!?!?".

You ditch your guests by saying you HAVE to do laundry RIGHT NOW and bike your ass back to your building as fast as your piece of shit bike will permit without it completely disintegrating into the air that is 60% saturated with aluminum oxide, anyways.

You run to your room, grab all of the hanging and not-yet-dry clothes off the line and throw them in the closet and under the bed. Then you dissect your junk drawer, find two very old condoms, praise Buddha, Allah, Jesus Shuttlesworth, Jah Rastafari and the Spaghetti Monster for their existence and strategically place/hide the condoms to within reach of the bed.

She calls when she arrives, you say you will be right down as you are changing your sweat drenched shirt, quickly brush your tongue and gums and fix your hair. You go get her and bring her to your room. She takes a shower and you wash her. It's awesomely awesome and all goes according to fantasy.

While the statuesque and exotic beauty (see the hottest of my new facebook friends) is making sweet love making sounds, she says she wants to do it every day and that you shouldn't go to Inner Mongolia because she says, 'I am Inner Mongolia'. Wow.

What do you do?

My guess is Lil John Stud yelled "OKAAAAAAYYY" to her question and someone will have to pick him up a Inner Mongolia souvenir because he probably still is in bed.

Mad Props to Flatusyahu for the hot photo and much more at this link.

Mac G's World

Sunday, July 27, 2008

"His Name is Pablo Escobar, No, Oh, Yunel Escobar, Sorry"

This Harry Caray impression by Atlanta Braves pitcher Will Ohman while he introduced his team's lineup is spot on and pure comedy. My only request would be to reference food or hot girl fans as Harry loved to observe both quite often in the announcing booth.

HT: Awful Announcing/ The 700 Level

The Tijuana Tornado Whirls Down Miguel Cotto

There is nothing in sports like a great championship boxing match between 2 elite fighters and the Saturday night fight between Miguel Cotto/Antonio Margarito fits that description. I purchased the pay per view event and it was the best 59 bones I had spent in awhile.

Cotto, the undefeated champion, controlled the early rounds of the fight by landing vicious blows. Margarito, nicknamed the "Tijuana Tornado," took the shots relentlessly but did not go down and fired back with his own combinations. The flurry of punches in the 2nd round by both fighters was boxing at its best.

The crowd was electric with Margarito's Mexican fans chanting throughout the fight and Cotto's large Puerto Rican contingent responding in cheers.

The momentum of the fight swung towards Margarito in the 6th round and he dominated Cotto in the 7th by landing 29 more power punches. Cotto was visibly stunned and cut with blood gushing.

Cotto fought back in the subsquent rounds and kept tagging Margarito with pin point punches, however, Margarito never was phased. His superior stamina and reach along with his stone chin proved to be the difference. Cotto's legs finally gave way in the 11th and the bloodied, battered champion went down to a knee twice. His corner threw in the towel and Margarito's impressive upset was official.

This improbable outcome now cancels out Cotto'sfuture fight and huge payday with Oscar De Le Hoya.

Cotto has nothing to be ashamed of because he brought his A boxing game and the majority of fighters would have relented to his powerful shots. Margarito did not succumb and he could take a punch better than any boxer that I have ever witnessed.

Be sure to watch this likely fight of the 2008 nominee on HBO replay next weekend.

Props to Yahoo Sports/Getty Images for the pictures.