"Are You Nursing"

All of sudden I have huge craving for a big glass of milk. Hmmmmmm, Mama?



The whole interview with Ellen is here if you need more mammary ogling.

Fryday

The weather today in the nation's capitol is cold/rainy and my head is killing as the hangover from tap beer sucks.

I just spent 430 dollars on 8 concert tickets to 2 April DC Widespread Panic shows at the Warner Theater and $85.50 of it went to Ticketbastard because their service is SO essential to the concert experience.

It now costs $10.05 "convenience" charge per ticket and $5.10 per order for a processing fee. I am sure the extra change(.15 cents total) was added to offset higher milk, bread and gas prices. Damn Inflation and Gordon Gecko.

Good times at the Will Leitch Book Event. He was very funny and witty. I initially stalked him paparazzi style with my camera, mumbled like an awestruck fan when introducing myself and then later shot the breeze with him while having some drinks at a bar in Gtown.

It is very refreshing to see Will's success has not swelled up his head and he takes time to listen to dudes like myself blab about their lame stories/blogs. Maybe it is the midwestern boy in him.

Also, I met some other "bloggers," who were actually cool and even one attractive female. Yes, there were girls there, well like 2 but still more than I expected.

I well have more later about the event with pictures, it is time for some Advil.

Here is a reward for those reading about my bitching and this video had me visioning my new golf SWING this summer.

Where the White Bloggers At?

This evening I am headed down to the Georgetown Barnes and Noble for Will Leitch's , the Deadspin Zen master, DC book reading. I am undecided if I am going to unveil Mac G's Deep Throat identity to the fellow pasty white sports blogger dorks in attendance. If it gets me a free drink at the after "party", done and done.

Will had a live Washington Post chat today and even though he left out MGW, it is still pretty funny. I plan on supporting his nicotine and java habit by purchasing his book, "God Save the Fan." My only request is for Will's Illini loving ass to inscribe to my Iowa Hawkeye Ass this:

"To Mac G: Bruce Pearl is my hero and I offered Deon Thomas that lemon. Champaign is Iowa City's bitch. Will."

PS. I will be the white guy, attempting to grow the Sergio McClain beard just to make Will feel back in midwest. word, Mac G.

WPost Chat with Deadspin Godfather Will Leitch

(Picture Credit to Mr. Irrelevant)

Jon Stewart on Larry King

I was pissed that The Daily Show was in reruns this week and it turns out Jon Stewart is in Cali to MC the Oscars on Sunday. Here is Stewart's interview last night on Larry King live.

Lunar Eclipse

Do not forget about this evening's Lunar Eclipse. It could be another excuse to toast and tote on a Wednesday night. The next Lunar eclipse will not be until 2010 or year two of the Barack Obama presidency.

The peak time to see the total lunar eclipse will be at 10:26 p.m. EST

When to watch for the Lunar Eclipse

Eclipses occur only at full moon when the sun, Earth and moon are in a perfect line. Because the moon's orbit around Earth is not perfectly aligned with the plane of Earth's orbit around the sun, eclipses do not occur at every full moon.

The moon will enter Earth's umbral shadow (the full shadow) at 8:43 p.m. ET (that's 7:43 p.m. Central, 6:43 p.m. Mountain and 5:43 p.m. Pacific) on Wednesday, Feb. 20. It will appear as though an ever-larger bite is being taken out of the moon.

Some 78 minutes later, the moon will slip into full eclipse. About 51 minutes later, a bright scallop will appear as the moon starts emerging. It will be completely out of the umbral shadow at 9:09 p.m. Pacific time, which is 12:09 a.m. ET on Thursday morning.

More Info on the Lunar Eclipse

A Little Jerry Seinfeld Sighting at Mets Camp?

Pitchers and Catchers have reported to Spring Training. LOL Jocks is all over a possible a little Jerry Seinfeld sighting at Mets Camp.

Link Whores

• Drunken Stepfather makes it into Maxim magazine and he is pretty fired up about it, in a smart ass kind of way. The site is uber NSFW but it is a bookmark keeper.

• Co-Ed Magazine locates another Brazilian Bombshell.

• Hottest Girls of MySpace pimps out a Playboy model.

• Hottie Hunter is money with his soccer babe finds.

• Tasty Booze uncovers a You Tube delight.

• Busted Coverage might have the remedy for my quasi Erin Andrews obsession, locating the next EA. ( I have more EA pictures too from last weekend. My man with the EA connect is golden.)

• On 205th brings video of Pretty Boy Floyd's appearance on WWE.

• Brahsome smokes out a story about the U of Michigan finding cannabis plants in the university greenhouse.

• Loser With Socks is puzzled about the recent LSU QB's suspension. I love the McLovin photoshop.

• Bright Black Internet unveils that women think about sex every 14 minutes at work.

• Epic Carnival lists top 10 reasons that Andy Pettitte chose to play in 2008.

• Blog of Hilarity discovers a Heath Ledger Joker action figure is on sale.

• Cuzoogle posts a Jason Kidd look alike.

• Holy Taco highlights one of the best inventions of 2008: GPS that locates strip clubs.

Science Fair Projects

Honestly, I do not remember one Science project from my formative years but I would like to think they were as funny as the ones found on Photo Basement.

Here are my favorite presentations and be sure to check out all 41 of them.

WASTED

Who's Your Daddy?

Crystal Meth. Friend or Foe?

Photo Basement Science Projects

(Thanks to My Buddy BC for the tip)

"The Thing is, We Need God in Our Government"

There are few things in life that can make me go dead silent and this video is one of them. I thought watching the movie, "Jesus Camp," was disturbing enough but then the Notorious DEK sends me 4 minutes of pure ignorance.

I was always dumbfounded how the main Jack Daniels' distillery could be located in Lynchburg, Tennessee, a town in a dry county. The answer to my inquiry now seems clear as JC's complexion.

My Boys Cant Swim Bombed, Only Sober

For years, I have promoted a half kidding belief that my "boys" would have a difficult time making the long upstream swim to the egg birthing dam.

This unproven proclamation was due to two contributing factors. My former life of burning bowls full of Nebraska brown frown and my record of zero offspring after years of random philandering, raw dawg style.

The "my boys cant swim," line always produced a chuckle from my partners/victims. Of course my gfriend, the lovely Miss SoBelle, does not laugh so I have refrained recently from any sperm jokes. I continually reassure her that my boys are Olympic triathletes and will not drown if/when their time is ever called.

An University of Idaho study just blindsided me into another sperm scenario that I had not previously imagined.

Men should not smoke, drink or take unnecessary drugs if they are planning to become fathers to avoid causing health problems for their children, a health expert has warned.

Scientists found that toxic chemicals can damage sperm, which then pass altered genes onto babies. In experiments on rats Matthew Anway of the University of Idaho found that some garden chemicals caused problems such as damaged and overgrown prostates, infertility and kidney problems, all of which were present up to four generations later.

Damn, that sounds awful and my sperm humor now seems as unfunny as Dane Cook's stand up routine. It gets worse:

"Men who drink excessive amounts of alcohol produce higher rates of sperm with abnormalities,"

OUCH. I have never seen one statement take the Joy out of Happy Hour for prospective fathers like that one. Previously, I only believed "drinks are full price," accomplished such a booze downer.

I do think there is more to life than procreating oneself and it is debatable if the world needs more Mac G's. Although, it would be nice to have normal procreating option someday without giving up booze and thus risking birthing a deformed child with organ problems.

There is a glimmer of hope:

The good news for men is that sperm is produced continuously in a 74-day cycle, so the body does clean itself over time.

I wonder if increased Spank Bank Deposits would help speed up the good sperm flow?

Drinks and Drugs Cause Bad Sperm.

This post does not imply that I am thinking about having a kid yet. Why would I do anything yet to drastically decrease my sleep, sports viewing, money and sex life?

How to Arrange a Threesome

I still believe threesomes only occur in dreams of all straight males or pornos. This video link from CNNSI Hotclicks, provides a visual game plan.


How To Arrange A Threesome

Movie Trailer: Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

I would advise to watch this hilarious trailer at work with headphones on.

ReDunkulous

This was probably the best dunk contest that I have seen since Vince Carter's victory over Tracy McGrady and Steve Francis in 2000.

Dwight Howard won the 2008 slam dunk crown by cranking out his Super Man on dat rim.

Watch him Cram. Watch him Roll.



Returning Champ Gerald Green finished runner up to Super Man but his birthday candle dunk was sick in creativity.




Mac Gs World