Here is some solid holiday romance advice from a John Carney post and the Notorious DEK weighed in on his favorite ones.
29. Avoid any girl who has done speed dating, match.com or j-date. She's got commitment issues, and since you're an emotionally unavailable alcoholic, neither of you will ever call each other.
30. Avoid any girl on anti-psychotics. She'll go off her meds one day and plant a corkscrew in your ribcage.
40. Avoid any girl who wants to monopolize your time on New Year's Eve. The night is too wrought with emotions and memories. Spend time with as many different people as possible or else stay home and alternate heroin and absinthe until you pass out at twenty till midnight. Also, she's probably on Ritalin and won't share it.
47. Avoid any girl you meet at Cocaine Anonymous. She won't do drugs with you.
All very intuitive advice and here are some other ones that I found commendable:
2. Avoid dating a girl just because she is your favorite bartender. Where are you going to drink when you want to forget her?
3. Avoid girl who tells you she she is on a cleanse. She hates herself.
7. Avoid any girl who really likes girls who blog about their sex lives. She’s just too lazy to ruin your name right now. She’ll find a way later.
13. Avoid any girl who is a DJ. She’ll make you listen to her terrible music.
17. Avoid any girl with more tattoos than you. She’ll never respect you.
18. Avoid any girl who is still angry because her last boyfriend cheated on her. You’ll cheat on her too.
Go read the whole list
I found this link at the Cajun Boy in City. Bookmark or add his RSS because the sarcastic, cynical and hilarious Cajun Boy brings it.