Top Ten College Football Tailgates

ESPN came up with another lame top ten tailgating list, which of course infuriates pretty much every college football fan not on this subjective list. I think lists are stupid and is hard for me to compare any of my own tailgate experiences to those of other schools that I have never attended. I was not going to post this list until my boy Hoff daddy fired off this classic response to this list. He took exception to Washington being ranked 4th,with the writers rationale being this:

4. Washington
The main tailgate venues are nothing special, but stern-gating is awesome. Sailing up to Husky Stadium while nibbling Dungeness crab or wild salmon and sipping a bottle of Red Hook or a glass of Chateau St. Michelle is college football's finest experience that doesn't include the USC song girls.

The Hoffdaddy drops his first bomb.

Do you hear how he described Washington " while nibbling Dungeness crab or wild salmon and sipping a bottle of Red Hook or a glass of Chateau St. Michelle is college football's finest experience, and colorado vs. the horshoe so he consulted a friend, give me a break, the other I will not argue.

How about take a midwestern school for example, Iowa, Nebraska, etc) waking up at 6 a.m. for a 11:00 kickoff and taking your first drink of skol vodka after jumping out of bed with the pig you just porked the night before after drinking gin from Thursday to Saturday morning, followed by a chaser of milwaukee's best or classic draft, and proceeding to drink 12 more with a shot or beer bong intermingled between beers.

Sneaking a taster of wickey into the game in your dirty drawers only to leave in the third quarter to drink more and look for the next pig to roast and on and on.

Then you wake up on Sunday afternoon having no clue how you lost a shoe and ended up with four different lighters in your pocket even though you don't smoke but who cares you didn't get arrested just an std that the university health center can handle and time to do it again next week.

I could laugh for days at this because the Hoff daddy witnessed me getting arrested one time in Kinnick stadium. The moral of the story is never take pull of Mag Dog 20/20 if you are 20 and always make sure your frat room can accept collect calls from the county jail. Oh, do not whisper to a cop under your breath that he is an "ahole" as you walk away but most of you should know that by now, I sure do!

Fire Away at this dumb list in the comment section if you want and I am just happy to see some poon hot spots represented on here but I would like more pictures of the poon. I guess this is what happens when you send a writer who is sipping on vino, instead of crushing beer bongs and dominating flip cup. Pussy.



Top Ten College Football Tailgates

Mac Gs World