Monday, December 15, 2008

War Chizik? War Hawkeye State

Auburn fans are pissed Gene Chizik was selected over my man, former Husker great, current Buffalo coach Turner Gill. Iowa State fans are happy to cut an overwhelmed Chizik loose from their lowly program and this guy brings out the knife to Chizik's Cyclown tenure in Lames USA.

Hey Cyclown AD, Jamie Pollard, let me give you a few tips. Iowa will forever be the Hawkeye State, know your place in the pecking order and do not mess with karma by forcing Hawkeye fans to buy Iowa State season tickets so they can watch the Hawks at your crap stadium.

I am not fooled by your crocodile tears either and stop lying about other school's wanting to employ you. Iowa State is the best gig you could get right now with your recent dismal track record. A major school president hiring you would be dumber than firing a 85-40 coach to hire a 5-19 one.

Your only success, Polesmoker, is putting the snake oil salesman hat on and hitting up ISU alumni for money by promising them this winning tradition. You have raised by more money but it just appears to be one big marketing scam and Wall Streetesk Ponzi scheme.

Iowa State football still sucks and now Iowa State basketball is in the dumps.

I will give you credit for only screwing people out of millions and not billions like Bernie Madoff.

Luckily, Chizik will be a good scapegoat to save your hide for a few more seasons and blame your own inefficiencies on others.

Never forget Pollarcock, Iowa is the HAWKEYE State. Welch Ave will ALWAYS suck compared to the Ped Mall. The Cyclown study body has come to grips with these facts, time for you to deal with it too, Dbag.

Black Heart Gold Pants breaks down the candidates for the Iowa State job and I think body paint dbag could win at least 6 games in 2 seasons at Lames College. No question he could out maneuver Hawkeye OC Ken O'Keefe for an upset victory, which usually marks the climax of the Cyclown football fan's existence.