"We're Moving Forward"

F U McCarthy! F U Ted "Prick" Thomspon! F U Murphy! The following picture is a total nightmare.


It makes me want to weep like a baby.

Is it too early to start drinking?

Just to be on the record and answer the mocking questions of my friends, I will NOT be cheering for the Fn Jets. Go Pack Go!

Link Whores

• Kangaroo boxing looks entertaining. Blog of Hilarity

• The suits in Bristol are sweating about not catching this F Bomb on the ESPN commercial. Yep Yep

• This compilation of hot babe gallery links will make Friday's time hour glass expire much quicker. Bright Black Internet

• I have a friend who works at the Library of Congress so it might be time to ask him about this mother of all porn collections that I KNOW is still in their possession. Banned In Hollywood

• Jennifer Ellison makes your calendar sticky. Sqwable

• I am having hard time dealing with Favre being traded to the Jets but Simon was happy with the news, well, at least for a day. Simon on Sports

• Gmoney unloads on a variety of sports topics in his own sweet crass style. The Money Shot

• Winnie Cooper can still make many grown men swoon and this could help with her book sales. Cuzoogle

• Download a new Trey song at Brahsome.

• Jai ranks the top arrests in the Urban Meyer UF era. Loser With Socks

• Check out this awesome sign to keep away hos. Tasty Booze

• Video of Rage Against the Machine rocking "Killing in the Name of" at Lollapalooza. Afrojacks

• This footage of a volleyball tourney makes me want to move to Cali. Busted Coverage

• Abigail Clancy is a smoking WAG. Next Round

• I agree sometimes chicks with bad ass ink can be smoking hot. Hottest Girl's of MySpace

• Justin Timberlake needs some cookies with those jugs of milk. Flatusyahu

• DC Scrap is charitable guy with these Gemma Atkinson's calendar pix. On 205th

• The Cheerleader King digs up some Raven Cheerleaders. Don Chavez

• Kate Moss likes to bang old creepy dudes. DeRober

• Top 10 list of why Lebron should play overseas. The Angry T

Favre Drama Ends in Packers Mourning

My phone blew up late last night like a Pimp's cell at the Summer Olympics as friends were texting me to go buy a Jets number 4 jersey. My thoughts all over the map but the JETS? WTF?

Check back for my emotional rant on Favre's diva behavior, Aaron Rodgers being the next Jay Fiedler and the egotistical prick Packers GM, Ted Thompson.

Favre is no longer a PACKER!!

UPDATE: This post is spot on describing the newfound Packer fan haters of Favre.

This comment on a Packer Geeks Blog post sums up most of my feelings about Brett Favre no longer being the QB for the Pack but the New York Jets.

cheese0317 Says:

I remember, when I was little my Dad cursing Lynn Dickey’s crooked legs and limp arm. I remember hoping David Whitehurst could be a better answer, hoping that he might lead them to the playoffs. I remember growing older, and more skeptical about Rich Campbell. The Randy Wright fiasco seemed hopeless. Anthony Dilweg isn’t worth mentioning. The Packers were a joke, a loser, and some whispered that the town might never be able to field a champion. Then came Don Majkowski’s torn rotator cuff. The most glorious torn rotator cuff in the history of my life.

The Favre Era dawned.

Over the next 16 seasons, Favre started every game and during that period no team in the NFL had a better win-loss record. Favre vomited blood on the sidelines and then returned to the field to rocket a touchdown pass. Favre played his best game, a must-win game for the Pack, 24 hours after the unexpected death of his father, his best friend. Favre won a Super Bowl. Let me repeat that: Favre won a Super Bowl. Off the field, Favre never bitched about money, and only renegotiated his contract when the Packers needed cap space.

On the field, Favre played with joy. He never posed, or gloated or whined. He played, and he celebrated and he scolded himself for his mistakes. On the field, he won more games and threw more touchdowns (and interceptions) than any person ever in the history of the NFL.

On the back of this success, Green Bay returned to its glory. It became a place where free agents came to play, and a stop on the road to the division championship. And, we’ll repeat this for emphasis: During Favre’s 16 years in Green bay, no team in the NFL had a better record. The Packers returned to the Super Bowl, rebuilt their stadium, their practice facility, and their image as a winner. They brought the Lombardi Trophy back to Titletown.

Favre was not the only person responsible for all of that. But the 3-time MVP was the most important factor.

And here it is in black and white:

Ted Thompson just traded away the best quarterback in the NFC last year, the best player in Packers history, the quarterback with more wins and touchdowns than any other quarterback in history of the league, who is coming off a pro-bowl season with 13 wins, a run deep into the playoffs and the best completion percentage of his career … for a middling draft pick.

The three quarterbacks remaining on the roster have 0 NFL starts, and one TD between them. The team is one injury away from being forced to start a rookie under center.

There is not much you could say to convince me that this isn’t negligent management.

Ted Thompson spent the better part of five weeks doing everything in his power to keep Favre from playing for the team, apparently so that Ted could play his draft choice. You can moan and groan all you want about Favre changing his mind about retiring. You can pick over the clumsy, disingenuous PR volleys from both sides and the bickering.

But fact is: Thompson could have had Favre as QB this year, and he stubbornly clung to lazy metaphors and a decision he made a month ago (perhaps three years ago) to “move on”. Thompson has to take responsibility for that decision.

Regarding this entire saga, I will say this: Favre deserved better. The fans deserved better. I do not and never will understand how a Packer fan who has watched Favre play could ever categorize him in the same category as malcontent wideouts who are more interested in paydays than wins of the field. I will never understand how Favre changing his mind about playing outweighs the fact that he is the greatest instinctual quarterback in the game, the best chance for a Super Bowl this year.

I don’t understand the animosity from so many fans, and frankly I’m not much in the mood to have someone try to explain it to me again. I think those people have forgotten. Forgotten last season. Forgotten the 15 seasons prior. Forgotten Favre vomiting blood on the sideline. And forgotten all those years we suffered through Dickey, Whitehurst, Wright, Campbell, Majkowski.

I don’t agree with those who argue that Favre’s poor sense of strategic career planning justifies his rejection. I never will agree with that. Let’s leave it at that.

And let’s leave at this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-6Ny_eErqs

Calvin and Jobs

If you have ever felt financially bent over by Steve Jobs and his modified Apple products, click to enlarge those two images full of hilarious Calvin and Jobs' cartoons.




HT: Gizmodo

Totally Hot Bitches

I am going back on a promise to not show anything Paris Hilton related on this site but this Funny or Die video is pretty hilarious. I was just shocked that she did yell "DRILL, DRILL" like pandering pols.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Fear the Cougar

The outstanding humor in this headline is only equaled by the DC local Channel 4 news TV report, which details the loose cougar on the campus of the University of Maryland in College Park. The unintended comedy is off the charts.

Being a long time aficionado of the female cougar species, local authorities are looking in the wrong direction. In CP, go to the bar Bentley's, Frat Row, or a few main dormitories. Luckily for male students, maybe the loose cat probably looks like these two roll royce cougs:






Buck up young Terrapin men, tonight could be the night you become real Cougar prey.

For a refresher on the term "Cougar", check out Cougar Speed Dating.

Four report spotting cougar at U.Md.
Large, Wild Cat Spotted On UMD Campus
Cougar Speed Dating

Mad props to TV Tan line for the pictures and the site has more Weeds stills.

Ludacris Obama is Here

The new Luda Obama song is tizzite but of course with all rap music which speaks about the truth, "it is controversial" because the corporate media has their never ending slanted narrative against Hip Hop. I still blame Tipper Gore, Bill Clinton, and C Delores Tucker for the origins.

Are there still more relevant lyrical lines in 2008 than Public Enemy's "Fight the Power," or Tupac's "they got money for wars but cant feed the poor?" or Biggie's "you are either slinging crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot."
I will refrain from a long rant and check out the Luda video.



I watched a simple rap song with clever lyrics. The media will paint another guilt by association picture of Obama because he admitted to liking Luda's music so that must mean he wrote that song!!! Naturally, Obama is now forced to reject the song. This is so dumb.

However, it is refreshing that Obama knows the words to a Snoop Dogg song.



I would rather see Obama butcher a Snoop tune than parody a Beach Boys song about creating another war in the middle east like John McCain.




NWA's Fight the Power video
Tupac's Keep Ya Head Up video
Notorious B.I.G's Things Done Change video
Obama brushes off Luda lyrics

Meet the Next Football Freak: Jelani Jenkins

I am not a big fan of these internet sites obsessed over high school athletes and I refuse to pay their hostage fees to get a glimpse inside the fickle minds of teenagers choosing colleges but I came across some video of uber stud Jelani Jenkins that blew me away.

Jenkins is a star RB/LB for Good Counsel High School, a power house prep school in a Maryland suburb of DC. Some feel Maryland has the inside track because his teammate and good friend Caleb Porzel recently committed to the Terps and it near his Silver Spring, Maryland home. Penn State is rumored to be high on his list as well.

I was equally impressed with Jenkins off the field as the nation's top ranked LB recruit has near perfect grades and aspires to be an architect or study kinesiology.

My favorite highlight is when Jenkins runs down a WR from 20 yard behind the play and strips the ball. You can not teach this speed and hitting ability.

Some of the videos repeat highlights but they are definitely worth watching again.







I might have to make trek out to the burbs to watch Jenkins bone crush some dudes this fall.

The Rapid Rise of Jelani Jenkins
Jenkins Rivals Profile
Terps Landing Local DC Area Talent


Mac G's World

A True Story to Preview American Olympic Domination in China

A newly minted Mac G's World correspondent, Lil John Stud, is living it up in Beijing this summer. He recently improved diplomatic relations with China in the best way possible by skinning hot Chineese poon.

Hopefully the following story that my American friend emailed is a precursor to many US Olympic golds, specifically Team USA restoring the order in world basketball dominance.

Imagine this:

You are in an exotic city with all kinds of crazy and interesting shit going on but you are really horny and havent' gotten laid in months in spite of the fact you have met like a million beautiful women. So... you make plans to travel. Your plan is to go to towns and cities, to borders, dams and demilitarized zones.

You plan to go to Inner Mongolia, a place best known for riding horses in expansive fields of grass and flowers. Why? -to get away from 'it all' and try to forget about how horny you are, of course. Your trip gets delayed because you have guests, and this increases your urgency to travel.

Then, two days before you leave, the most beautiful of the million women you met demands to come to your dorm room and take a shower at 3pm in the afternoon. Out of your mouth comes, "Hmmmm... I guess that would be alright" and inside, you say " I am the happiest and pimpiest mother fucker in the world! there is a god! Oh God! Oh God! I will never doubt your existence again. Oh God! Oh God!" and "I hope the cleaning lady replaced my bed sheets today!?!?!?".

You ditch your guests by saying you HAVE to do laundry RIGHT NOW and bike your ass back to your building as fast as your piece of shit bike will permit without it completely disintegrating into the air that is 60% saturated with aluminum oxide, anyways.

You run to your room, grab all of the hanging and not-yet-dry clothes off the line and throw them in the closet and under the bed. Then you dissect your junk drawer, find two very old condoms, praise Buddha, Allah, Jesus Shuttlesworth, Jah Rastafari and the Spaghetti Monster for their existence and strategically place/hide the condoms to within reach of the bed.

She calls when she arrives, you say you will be right down as you are changing your sweat drenched shirt, quickly brush your tongue and gums and fix your hair. You go get her and bring her to your room. She takes a shower and you wash her. It's awesomely awesome and all goes according to fantasy.

While the statuesque and exotic beauty (see the hottest of my new facebook friends) is making sweet love making sounds, she says she wants to do it every day and that you shouldn't go to Inner Mongolia because she says, 'I am Inner Mongolia'. Wow.

What do you do?

My guess is Lil John Stud yelled "OKAAAAAAYYY" to her question and someone will have to pick him up a Inner Mongolia souvenir because he probably still is in bed.

Mad Props to Flatusyahu for the hot photo and much more at this link.



Mac G's World

"His Name is Pablo Escobar, No, Oh, Yunel Escobar, Sorry"

This Harry Caray impression by Atlanta Braves pitcher Will Ohman while he introduced his team's lineup is spot on and pure comedy. My only request would be to reference food or hot girl fans as Harry loved to observe both quite often in the announcing booth.



HT: Awful Announcing/ The 700 Level

The Tijuana Tornado Whirls Down Miguel Cotto

There is nothing in sports like a great championship boxing match between 2 elite fighters and the Saturday night fight between Miguel Cotto/Antonio Margarito fits that description. I purchased the pay per view event and it was the best 59 bones I had spent in awhile.

Cotto, the undefeated champion, controlled the early rounds of the fight by landing vicious blows. Margarito, nicknamed the "Tijuana Tornado," took the shots relentlessly but did not go down and fired back with his own combinations. The flurry of punches in the 2nd round by both fighters was boxing at its best.

The crowd was electric with Margarito's Mexican fans chanting throughout the fight and Cotto's large Puerto Rican contingent responding in cheers.

The momentum of the fight swung towards Margarito in the 6th round and he dominated Cotto in the 7th by landing 29 more power punches. Cotto was visibly stunned and cut with blood gushing.

Cotto fought back in the subsquent rounds and kept tagging Margarito with pin point punches, however, Margarito never was phased. His superior stamina and reach along with his stone chin proved to be the difference. Cotto's legs finally gave way in the 11th and the bloodied, battered champion went down to a knee twice. His corner threw in the towel and Margarito's impressive upset was official.

This improbable outcome now cancels out Cotto'sfuture fight and huge payday with Oscar De Le Hoya.














Cotto has nothing to be ashamed of because he brought his A boxing game and the majority of fighters would have relented to his powerful shots. Margarito did not succumb and he could take a punch better than any boxer that I have ever witnessed.

Be sure to watch this likely fight of the 2008 nominee on HBO replay next weekend.

• An awesome live ringside account

• Punch stats of fight

• Margarito too tough for Cotto

• The Cotto/Magarito aftermath

• Round By Round Analysis

Props to Yahoo Sports/Getty Images for the pictures.

"Reggen Please"

Stephen Colbert gives background about the ColorofChange.org Petition against Fox news, which is led by my favorite MCs of all time, Nas. The popular rap artist has a track out on his new untitled album against Fox called, "slyfox." Colbert's beloved "Papa Bear" O'Reily predictably has ripped on Nas in the past and Nas is calling out Papa Bear's beef.


The Colbert/Nas interview almost made me piss my pants as the Gangsta Host "popped some truth in his ass." The hilarious exchange starts at 13:30.

Nas Interview

Scary Minor League Brawl

A huge Minor League baseball fight broke out in Dayton, Ohio last night between the Dayton Dragons and Peoria Chiefs



I located this video from a fan's vantage point in the stands. There appears to be some serious meat heads attending this minor league baseball game.



"It was a big brawl," said Ben Means, 25, a fan from New Carlisle. "I like that kind of enthusiasm. It was sweet. We're excited. It's cool." No wonder MMA is extremely popular these days.

During the game a Chiefs 2B broke his leg and a Dragons SS suffered a head injury. The brawl put a fan in the hospital. Sweet enthusiasm huh?

Chiefs starting pitcher Julio Castillo was arrested for striking the fan with a baseball and he is still in the pokey.

Another weird angle is how the game continued even though 15 players were initially booted from the contest.

Castillo, both managers as well as 15 players were thrown out of the game. But almost an hour after the brawl, which lasted about 10 minutes, all of the ejections were reversed by the Midwest League.

The reversal came after the Reds and Cubs — parent teams of the Dayton Dragons and Peoria Chiefs — indicated they didn't want pitchers playing in the outfield, which is what each team would have needed in two spots.

YES SO FAST, MY FRIENDS!!

Busted Coverage breaks loose a solid pre season prediction, online magazine style by boasting the lovely Lindsay above is the clubhouse leader in their upcoming USC Song Girl of the Year for the 2008 college football season. No argument here and I can not wait to see/perv out the other contestants.

No wonder Carson Palmer hates Columbus when cheer poon like this is roaming the USC sidelines. I understand Suckeye fan is pissed because they line the pockets of their players at the same financial rate as USC but the Trojans still trump them in the hot poon department.

Oh, I just wanted an excuse to kick off posts about college football and poon too. The first Saturday waking up to college Game Day on the tube will be like Christmas morning as a little brat. I must be having serious football junkie withdrawls if I am actually requesting an ESPN program.

Yes So Fast, My Friends!!

• More hot pictures of Lindsay are at my dawg's site: Busted Coverage.

• Hook it up with a digg as well.

• Carson Palmer hates Saturday's in Ohio.

Nothing But Net for Barry O

The first stop on Barack Obama's overseas trip was to an American Military Base in Kuwait. The pressure was on as Barry O lined up to shoot a 3 pointer in front of a packed gym full of US troops.



Nothing but Nylon Baby! Barry is BALLIN! Can you imagine if Barry O had bricked the shot? The Cable TV pundit blowhards would have went bonkers like their silly outrage over his gutter balls earlier in the primary season.

Speaking of air balls, our dear leader GW (remember him?) had his own public hoop skills attempt at a military school in Belfast last month.



It is bad enough that 7 out of 10 Americans think you suck at your job but to get booed by Elementary kids? Ouch that hurts. If Bush ever decides to fall off the wagon and own up to that highly important beer the media told me we would have together since 1999, I will give him some pointers on his follow through.

In related Sports/Campaign news, John McCain and George Bush Sr. went looking for range balls in 41's golf cart. I hear the summer All You Can Eat buffet in Kennebunkport is dynamite. Plus, they will even let you split a plate if you ask nicely or bribe them with afternoon bingo cards.


HT: Blue Tidal Wave

The Best NBA Summer League Player of ALL TIME!!

I keep bitching relentlessly about how awful the TV sports offerings are right now in the summer lull. With DC temps and humidity levels hovering in the 90s, I embarked on a lazy indoor Sunday.

I witnessed a 53 year old Aussie get abused in horrible golf conditions by an Irishman, the Nats/Orioles/Yanks games, an unknown slump bust looking Canadian chick capture a tennis title, MLS soccer match in Spanish, and women's pro beach volleyball final. I am not just scraping the bottom of the sports barrel but damn near licking it.

Oh, I can not forget to mention the local DC media is now in official Redskins propaganda mode. "New coach Jim Zorn is great, everyone is feeling awesome, this is their year, blah, blah, blah." If I was a NFL beat writer, I would just to reuse the same story angles from past years because little changes from the perpetual pre season optimistic tone.

I will bet my life that some Redskins related picture makes A1 of the Washington Post on the Monday morning edition. Who cares about all of the problems of the world when we have the Skins opening up training camp, baby!! Bring on T HO, Tony Homo, Ms. Pac Man and the Cowboys!!

Anyway, my boob tube choices this Sunday evening were the insufferable ESPY's and the glorified pick up Summer League games on the NBA channel. I chose the latter and just when I thought I had seen it all in sports, this halftime event at the TWolves/Knicks contest floored me.

Knicks guard Nate Robinson, who was in street clothes, became the first player to have his jersey retired in the Las Vegas Summer League. Yes, RETIRED!! Robinson is the 2007 Summer League MVP and the only player to participate in 4 straight Las Vegas summer leagues so thus these were his credentials to have this groundbreaking honor bestowed upon him.

Robinson went to half court for the "ceremony" and some black jack dealer looking dude congratulated him. Robinson seem to care more about text messaging.

The best part is when they unveiled his jersey on the wall and they did not even pop for a banner or a glass case for the Knicks number 4 but just tacked it up on this concrete gym slab.


Even though Robinson has a career average of 10.7 points a game and 41% shooting percentage, this honor cements him in NBA history and possibly could redeem his image of just being the short guy with mad ups, who won the dunk contest after missing 22 dunks.

Of course I am joking, and when did they start retiring jerseys for games that consist of mostly D League retreads? The only analogy I could produce about Robinson's "recognition" is it's like a college hooper repeating as the NIT MVP.

I discovered more Robinson jersey pictures which illustrates the hilarity and hopefully, I can locate the video. NBA.com does not appear to pimping this accomplishment yet on its homepage.






HT: Blazers Edge/Bright Side of the Sun/Fanhouse

Link Whores-Coed Camo Edition

• Krystal Forscutt appears to be a chocolate covered cupcake. Next Round

• Heidi Montag is hanging out with John McCain's daughter. Fake breasts and bleach is always key to electoral success in Arizona. Blog of Hilarity

• Video of Letravel James playing Mello in high school. Cuzoogle

• At least someone can score at a ballpark because it is not the nAAAts. Yep Yep Gibbs 12

• I have to find some humor in this Favre drama debacle with these clever possible Favre employment photo shops. Boosh Magazine

• I am sucker for any post that has videos of Road Trip and Seinfeld. The Angry T

• Megan Fox is the hottest star wars fan that I have ever came across. Derober

• A member of 2005 UNC men's title team is already hawking their ring on Ebay. The real world is tough to self finance once you get off the alumni and street agent payrolls. Brahsome

• Donnie C pulls poon out of his magic hat again with these CFL cheerleader photos which is causing quite the stir in Canadian media. Don Chavez

• ESPN should cancel their awful title town segment and just show pictures of sizzling Gator Danielle Wolfe. Busted Coverage

• I still get a chuckle out of the insanity that is WV Mountaineer fan and I am from rabid Nebraska, where Husker Nation is already canonizing Bo Pelini before he has coached one game. Loser With Socks

• Model Inguna Butane has a serious case of F me eyes. Bright Black Internet

• Do not watch the ESPYs and just gawk at the hot babes who attended this BS awards show. My Chill Pill

• Jennifer Ellison will never ever drown with these pair of floating devices. On 205th

• The World's Largest Flip Cup Tournament is taking place this October in New York City. Tasty Booze

• Here are cool directions to the Bat Cave just in time for the new Batman movie. Banned In Hollywood

• Brazilian model named Zu Zu, any reason to elaborate? Hottest Girls of MySpace

• I have some compassion for my dorky white boy brethren but man they sure do act pasty. Sqwable

• These pelvic thrusts by this sexy ginger girl makes me want to light up a P funk. Flatusyahu

F U!

No additional superlatives needed to describe this awesome video.


She Has A Boyfriend - Watch more free videos

HT: Boosh Magazine

Hacksaw QB McCowns

Miami Dolphins QB Josh McCown came down with a peculiar injury at the hands of his brother, Bucs QB Luke.

McCown needed six stitches to the index finger on his right hand a couple of weeks ago when he was injured while he and his brother, Luke, were cutting firewood.
Josh McCown told Tyler television station KETK that he was holding the firewood and his brother, a backup quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, made the mistake of cutting his finger instead of the firewood.

I suppose the Hacksaw QB McCowns could be doing worse things with their NFL down time like fighting pit bulls or blowing lines in parked cars. However, I recommend the McCown brothers find another leisure activity other than chopping firewood and follow the off season lead of fellow NFL QB Tony Romo by playing golf and banging a Hollywood "celeb."

Christmas in July: No More Billy Packer

Last night while I was watching Rangers OF Josh Hamilton puncture a baseball like a strung out junkie smacks a needle,(too low?) this awesome sports update came across the ESPN ticker: Billy Packer will not be returning to CBS as their number one college basketball announcer.

I guess not all recent news has been full of gloom as I could not endure any more March Madness with Packer lecturing me for 2 hours about random, outdated college basketball history that had no direct bearing on the game he was announcing.

The game had passed Packer by too. Plus, in the year 2008 the most prominent college basketball announcer should use email and the Internet, which are vital tools to use for research in his type of work. (Please Insert John McCain does not use any technology joke here___)

Clark Kellog will be a solid replacement and Packer appears to already have a retirement plans.



Image HT: Tirico Suave