Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Does Your Roommate Suck?

The Notorious DEK has been rolling lately with some great finds and his latest, My Roommate is Such a Dick is a Bookmark keeper. It details bad roommate stories in letter form, along with funny pictures. HILARIOUS.

Everyone has good stories of an awful roommate. I could mention some college ones about dudes puking, being downright filthy or stealing my condoms. However, the story of my post college housemate's Rottweiler trying to kill me by viciously biting me several times is probably the winner.

I had to sue him so he would pay for my medical bills that he originally promised to cover and we shared the same bathroom at this time still. The dog continued to live in the house, locked up in his room all day and it was 2 months after the attack until he finally moved out.

I could write a short story about this biggest DICK Head in the history of mankind. Oh, the dog had attacked the ahole a year before and bit half of his bicep off! AND HE KEPT THE DOG! Anyway enough of my past canine mental trauma, back to the hilarious web site.

You can submit a roommate story and here is the sample from the site.

Dear Roommate,

I'm sick of you leaving your shit all over the place, and not paying me back when I pay your electric bill. And drinking my beer. And hitting on my girlfriend when you're drunk. I've had enough. I'm taking a stand. This site is dedicated to you and the millions of other dick roommates around the world.

Sincerely,

Your Roommate


Here are couple of my favorites but check out the whole site.

Dear Roomate,

You go out 5 nights a week, get drunk and call the same ugly fat girl to get your dick wet. So you leave me two options: cry myself to sleep to the sound of you porking that bitch. OR sleeping in the lounge on a tinyass ikea furniture. F-you, you chubby chasing son of a bitch

The guy you share mailbox with


Dear Roommate,

Puh-lease stop flexing everytime you take a photo with our crew. We get it. You go to the gym. We're all really impressed. I'm gonna start photoshopping you out if you don't stop.

Dear Roomate,
I am really starting to think that you're gay because you will not man up and get with chicks. I wish you would locate your balls and get the nerve to close the deal on some serious ass.

Sincerely, The guy who is trying to get you laid but is dealing with a homo

Dear Roommate,
Hey, thanks for the surprise you left for me when I brought my parents home during graduation weekend. I've never been happier to move out of the apartment.

P.S. you can keep the couch.

P.S.S. and where did you find that scrappy looking white boy???

My Roommate is a dick!



Mac Gs World

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Let's not forget the notorious Shady Brady. 'Yo dude! Can I get sum shit tickets!?!?!'. Jesus.