America Needs More Don Cherry

Just like the majority of the sports world, I stopped paying attention to hockey after their last work stoppage. The NHL's games are now on the Versus network, further cementing the league into media obscurity. This channel was so far off my Direct TV flipping remote rotation (Ch.608) that by the time I realized hockey was on, the game was over. Instead of playoff hockey, ESPN's prime time coverage included 2005 Poker US Open tournaments, spelling Bees, billiards and figure skating. It was a total kick in the nuts to the NHL! I watched my first 2 complete hockey games of the season, games 3 and 4 of Stanley Cup finals. It had it all: back and forth scoring, exciting offensive styles, and physical play. And yes, even some Fighting.

But by far the biggest highlight was Don Cherry's sound off during the 2nd intermission of Game 4. PURE Comedy! I knew he was funny and was a Canadian legend but I had no idea he was THIS hilarious. I think he forgets that he is on TV and could be more entertaining than my man Chuck Barkley.
My favorites included:

• His memo to NBC Sports Chairman Dick Ebersol for more fighting
• Holding up a Buffalo paper that pictured famous fights
  
• His Tree Hugger's blast
• Calling Hull out for his own controversial goal
• His P.I.M.P. outfit.

MGsW's memo to TV Execs in sports: We need more of Don Cherry in America and less sports writers turned TV blowhards.

Watch This and Wonder Why the World Hates Americans

I love So Cally but I can not fathom my daughter ending up like this tramp in training. Plus, how can a fire crotch like Linsey Lohan have her own tanning name? I am a guy and I know that red heads do not tan well.

Marion Barry's Receptionist Drives Her Car Into a Crowded Festival, While Smoking Crack

Tonya N. Bell, 30, is charged with aggravated assault, and prosecutors say they are considering additional charges. She is accused of driving through a police barricade into the crowd Saturday evening, sending people and strollers flying and injuring at least 40 people. According to charging documents, Bell told police she had been "smoking crack all day."

Bell had until recently worked in the office of Marion Barry, former mayor and a District of Columbia Council member, as a receptionist employed by a temp agency. Barry's office issued a letter terminating its contract with NAI Personnel.

Bell appeared to be laughing as she drove the car with flattened tires and broken windows into the crowd, said Linda Greene, who saw Bell's car from her porch.

"The car just passed so fast, and all of a sudden I just heard people screaming," said Denise Jackson. "I turned around, and it was like bodies falling out of the sky."

This story is horrible and any cheap comments that I have about the Marion Barry crack angle seem juvenile and really low. Luckily, no one was seriously injured.

This does remind me of one of my favorite headlines of all time. Barry won his current city council seat in 2004 and one of the NYC tabloids went with this:
"Barry Gets Another Crack at Politics."

" Can I borrow your Fn Pen?"

"I think we are dead, time is going by really really slow"

This is a few weeks old but still pretty sweet! TV announcers must like brownies too!

TIME TO BRING THEM HOME!

New Apple Iphone Looks PIMP!!!

Too bad Cingular/ATT has awful cell phone service or I would be getting one of these IPhones. I LOVE the touch screen capability. I hope the Iphone makes other cell phone companies up their design/services. Europe absolutely crushes USA in vast better technology and service for the hijacked amount that American's are forced to pay every month. In Europe, there is no 2 year locked in BS contracts. Your payment is based on the "Go Phone" model. Money is added to your phone as minutes are used. Their text message plans are unlimited, no extra charges for using your phone during the made up "peak' hours invented by cell phone companies, and users are never charged 40 cents a minute for going over their allotted monthly minutes.

Did I mention their phones are much sleeker/cooler. I could go on and on for the need of true regulation of the wireless industry. As cell phone and wireless internet usage has exploded over the past 5-10 years, the wireless industry has remained virtually unscathed by Congressional regulation, which would benefit consumers over the wireless companies. The main reason is one acronym: CTIA. Cellular Telecommunication and Internet Association. The Wireless Industry's Organization and Political Action Committee(PAC).

CTIA rivals only the Pharmaceutical Industry's PAC, PhRMA on Capitol Hill in political influence. And the drug companies NEVER lose a legislative battle. 60 Minutes had a recent segment on PhRMA's tremendous influence/writing of the horrible drug bill.

CTIA throws the money around to both parties. I am hopeful that the current Democratic Congress will finally originate some policies beneficial towards cell phone users. Of course, I highly doubt it.

"That's GOLD, Jerry! GOLD!"

Who wants to talk about Lebron's Cape or Kobes' Bib, when you can unveil another angle to the Stray-Rod tabloid stripper frenzy storyline? As Cosmo Kramer would scream, "Giddy UP!"

It has been brought to Mac Gs World's attention that the blue jeans Stray-Rod is wearing in the infamous NYPost cover story picture are the brand True Religion. Since I do not live in LA or NYC and feel spending a day's pay on simple blue jeans is a little too exorbitant for my taste, I was unaware of this high priced apparel company. Not Anymore.

Axlerod' is photographed wearing a pair of True Religion (TRLG) jeans and the stock explodes 20%. You think it’s the first time he’s worn the jeans?

True Religion Apparel, Inc. stock is up 4.6 points (30%) ever since the Stray-Rod NY Post story broke on Wednesday morning. Analysts did upgrade the stock's earnings forecast that same morning, which is why the stock increased on Wednesday. However, the stock has continued to rise each day and even CNBC had a segment on Stray-Rod's jeans, zooming in on the True Religion brand.

MGsW concludes that everything Stray-Rod touches turns indirectly into GOLD. Both the Mariners and Rangers had tremendously successful seasons after trading ARod. The Red Sox won their first title in a BAZILLION years after a pinstriped Stray-Rod bitch slapped Bronson Arroyo. Now, Stray-Rod has made several parties mad loot with this week's stripper incident. He is a marketing genius.

Winners Include:

• True Religion- $4.60 times # of shares= Sick profit's(and rising!) for Shareholders
• Jocelyn Noel Morse- Her rates for private dances have at least tripled. What rich guy would not want Stray-Rod's leftovers? This does not count the $ Stray-Rod has already stuffed in her G string.
  
• Scores Vegas and Manhattan Strip Clubs- Scores does not need any more notoriety or money but Stray-Rod's "hobby" has done just that.(No comment on the number of "Scores" and "Strippers" and "clubs" Google searches MGsW has made today.)
  
• NY Media Outlets- I have personally been to NYPost's website more times this week than in the past year combined. The Tabloid War is ON in New York and thus, correlates to higher web traffic/ sales/ad revenue.
  

• ESPN, Yanks/Red Sox- Is it really possible for this exhausting rivalry to get any MORE coverage? Unfortunately, Yes. ESPN has an angle to promote over the Yanks actual dismal 22-29 record. ESPN has been all over Stray-Rod's likeness for strippers.

Losers:

• Cynthia Rodriguez and daughter, Natasha
  

True Religion Stock Price
True Religion Jeans
Bunny Honey Update
ESPN Angle

Mac Gs World

My head hurts just watching Gonzo squirm and lie

Bob, I bid Seventeen Hundred Thousand Dollars, One, Seven, Zero, Zero, Zero

I have not seen Bob Barker this confused since Happy Gilmore. I think Benjamin likes to dominate taquitos late night at 7-Eleven, Brah!

Do you know your local stripper?

I always wanted to be a bookie and write my dissertation about the experience. University of Nebraska-Omaha master's student Jenny Heinman plain CRUSHES my idea. She wrote her graduate thesis about being an exotic dancer. You know: Stripper.

Jenny or should I say, "Saphire" or from the looks of her curtains "SaFIRE" breaks down her time in the industry. I would block quotes some of her final thesis but I must admit, I was looking more for the pole dancing ability in the video than a sociology explanation. I already can conclude that Daddy did not love her.

I must give a shout out to Mac G's World Contributor, The Notorius DEK for the tip.

Academic Stripping Video
Thesis

Full disclosure: The Notorious DEK is a loyal customer of The 20's club.

Mexicans Boo Miss USA

My guess is that they are not big fans of the new immigration bill?

Also, I was unaware of America's competition with Mexico.

Smith was booed during her interview and several audience members chanted "Mexico! Mexico!" until she spoke in Spanish, saying "Buenas noches Mexico. Muchas gracias!" which earned her applause. Mexico has a fierce rivalry with its northern neighbor.

It was a rough night for Miss USA. She laid a Rampage like smackdown during her nightgown stroll. Unfortunately, replace Lidell with the floor. Poor Girl.

Hopefully, Cowboys QB and Miss Universe Judge, Tony "Tin Cup" Romo gave her a shoulder to cry on later. He can relate to awkwardly committing an infamous blooper in a prime time television spot. Tin Cup Romo loves to assists hot chicks, who he calls his "friends." Well at least he is helping former Idol star Carrie Underwood with her accessories and not feeding Kelly Clarkson more hot dogs.



Miss Japan took home the crown over my 2 latina favorites, Brazil and Venezuela.

European KY Ad

Can you figure out why some Euros are mad at about this ad?
Take a closer look.

New GOP Consulting Firm, " I do not remember."

Attorney General Gonzo already has the patten on, "I do not recall."

ESPN Insider: R.I.P.

It is official. I am no longer a paying member to the ESPN/ABC/Disney Corporation Cash Trough. It has been a rough few weeks for Disney, first Hamas puts them on the defensive and now Mac G has turned of their Insider spigot. Please do not call me a supporter of Hamas either.
I love the Jews.

I have canceled my ESPN Insider subscription. Sports Blogs 1, ESPN 0.

The Mickey Mouse company will still get some of my loot indirectly through my Direct TV cable package but no longer am I shelling out 40+ bones a year to read Chad Ford's newest international prospect crush or Jerry Crasnick's take on the new Drays closer.

I am 100% confident in my decision. I have been trying to do this for the past few years but they kept renewing my subscription automatically.

I am sure 20 of my friends that use my account are going to be disappointed. My advice to them: Life will surely move on without reading Lenny P's Arizona Cardinal's draft recap or Buster Olney's riveting analysis of the Cub's closing woes. Trust me, it will.

Honestly, I can get my info and sports insight opinion without the WWL hostage charges. And No, I will not be texting any Handgun pix to ESPN.com either. Even though it is tempting, Crazy DUKES has cornered that market. And I might add, Very WELL.

The subscriber business model on internet content charges has been an awful decision. It is not sustainable long term and consumers will find equal or better informational outlets for less money. The results are decreased web traffic, diminished time spent on a particular site and less Internet ad revenue. For example, Google's success has largely been defined by offering their services for little or no money and collecting their enormous Ad revenue.

I stopped reading NY Times Opinion pages after they starting charging for their Times Select Membership. It has been about 2 or 3 Friedman Units since I have read a NY Times columnist. The Times has relented sort of, offering Times Select Membership for free to college students.

ESPN continues with this type of behavior. I just read about their heavy handiness to ISPs. From the best Football blog out there. Pro Football Talk.

And we'd love to see the Intergoogle broadcast of the Thursday PTI show. So we waded through the alphabet junkyard on ESPN.com for 10 minutes until we finally decided to do a site search for "PTI." We then were informed that our ISP doesn't support ESPN360, and we were told that we should contact our ISP and let it be known that we don't know what it is, but we want it.

And that suggests to us that Bristol, Inc. is trying to impose a cable-style fee on ISP's throughout the land for the right to view video content online.

Hey, we've got no problem with people making money. But at a time when more and more companies are realizing that free content coupled with advertising is the best way to reach the broadest possible audience, it seems odd to us that ESPN is still trying to milk more and more cash out of the ever-narrowing subset of folks who are willing to pay, directly or indirectly, for Intergoogle material.

I could easily produce a long indepth manifesto on this topic after a few hours of research. However, I am just too lazy on a Friday before a holiday weekend.

For those of you who still want to get your Insider freebie fix on.

Login: panicbombs Password: orioles Expires:June 1, 2007

Yo Stu Scott, Stop Drop, Shut Em Down, Open up Shop!

Mac G

Mac Gs World

Knocked Up! Guaranteed to be Hilarious!

"Yo Dawg" needs anger management classes.

Tampa Devil Rays OF, Elijah Dukes has many characteristics:

• Likes to call his girlfriends, "Dawgs"
• Has serious long term Anger Issues
• Sends cool threatening picture texts
• Has little need for condoms or practicing Safe Sex in General

Duke' voicemail to his most recent baby mama.

"Hey, dawg. It's on, dawg. You dead, dawg. I ain't even bulls-------. Your kids too, dawg. It don't even matter to me who is in the car with you. N-----, all I know is, n-----, when I see your m-----f------- a-- riding, dawg, it's on. As a matter of fact, I'm coming to your m-----f------ house."

YIKES, that would frighten me, Dawg. I love to text but I have never thought about this one.

She also says Dukes called her and told her to check her cell phone.He sent a text message with a photo of a handgun, she said.

Why is Dukes so angry? Maybe it is genetic and from his background? Usually an excuse, right?

Dukes, who grew up in Sulphur Springs, saw his father convicted of second-degree murder when he was 11. Elijah Dukes Sr. received a 20-year prison sentence for shooting a man who sold his wife $100 worth of fake crack cocaine.

WOW, that would make me have some issues.

Or maybe he is bitter because his impressive Home RUN success in the bedroom has him down and out. Baby Mama's must be targeting him for his super sperm and 380K a year salary?

Four women have gone to court seeking child support from Dukes. In all four cases, the court found Dukes was the father, meaning he has at least five children by four women. Two of those women were pregnant at the same time, giving birth in 2003 within eight days of each other.

Do I really need to comment on this? YO DAWG, WEAR A CONDOM! STOP HITTING WOMEN! DAWG!

New 40 OZ drinking Game

The rules for Edward40Hands are simple... Follow the directions below:

1. Acquire 2 forty ounce malt-licqour beverages ("40"). Any brand will suffice as long as it is cold, and 40 ounces.
2. Acquire a roll of duct tape. Make sure it is duct tape and none of the wimpy non-stick masking bull shit!
3. Grab a 40 in each hand.
4. Duct tape each 40 to each hand.
5. Have your buddy unscrew the tops of each 40.
6. Drink fool!
7. The 1st player to finish BOTH 40s wins.

That is it. Have fun!

Ducks up 1 Fa Shizzle

"Pleas dont change da dizzle my nizzle fashizzle, will be rt bizzle in a mizzle, FA SHIZZLE!"

Snoop+Hockey+White Announcers= AWESOME

Watch the ending of the video, it is classic.



We are the Postmen

Bill Richardson has my vote