Troy Polamalu Pestered by Kayvon TV

The Pittsburgh Steelers were in Toronto to take on the Buffalo Bills in a NFL preseason game on Thursday evening. Prior to the contest, Steelers Pro Bowl safety Troy Polamalu was confronted by an Independent Canadian media personality and asked some pretty remedial questions about american football.

I can not tell if Kayvon Zahedi is really trying to be a poor man's Ali G/Borat or if he really is this big of an idiot. I do know Polamalu is one cool laid back dude because I might have bitch slapped this Kayvon character.



Kayvon does have some funnier bits on his website.

KayvonTV

Hey Haters, How Does the US Flag Taste?

Team USA crushed both China and Angola but all I heard from the sports pundits was how their poor 3 point shooting would catch up with them against Greece.

I was not buying the canned argument, which ignored how three point shooting would not be as important if Team USA kept moving the ball against zone D and kept up their killer pressure defense. Of course I was correct and Team USA beat some Greece ASS. The highlights are sickness:



I have tried to avoid delving into the non patriotic psyche of American sports fans and bitter middle age journalists who actually would not be bothered if Team USA failed to bring home the gold in basketball. Some American fans openly cheer for USA to be defeated.

In the last three major International basketball contests (2002, 2004, 2006), the main fallout theme in American sports culture after USA quests for gold came up short were "good" or "those spoiled millionaire brats did not deserve it."

I do not understand the majority anti American sentiment from fans or the media when it comes to our basketball squad and nor do I want to open up the Pandora's box of my guesses for the causes of this puzzling phenomenon. For now, I will keep the focus directly on court developments.

The 02 USA team looked like crap with Baron Davis and Paul Pierce jacking up bad 3s. Coach George Karl seemed over matched for the International game and Andre Miller could not shot at all.

In 04, the roster makeup was completely off and the international refs had it out for Tim Duncan. The 2006 team only lost one game to a Greece team who could not miss from 3. Coach K did not make the correct adjustments to the Greece's pick and roll offense.

There is a different swagger to this year's Team USA squad that I have not witnessed since Sydney or Atlanta. Many of our NBA stars appear to really want to achieve the gold medal accomplishment and are embracing the International style game.

Dwayne Wade looks healthy and back to his NBA championship level play. Chris Bosh surprisingly is playing like a man possessed. Kobe and Lebron are controlling the wings in every facet of the game. Chris Paul is the best point guard in the whole entire world and Dwight Howard is a dunking/rebounding/shot blocking machine.

Next up in pool play for Team USA is the 2006 FIBA World Champs Spain. The Spaniards, who have a NBA laden roster, are also undefeated at the Olympics but struggled defeating China in OT. This team has been dogged by controversy for their racist advertisement.

The game will tip live Saturday August 16th at 10:15am EST on the USA channel.

Getcha Eggs and Coffee ready.

So those bastards at NBC already pulled a Greek TV Youtube clip of the game that I had embeded above. I located this poor quality vid of the Kobe dunk.

A Campaign to Crush Engineer Recruiting

This billboard campaign picture is the 1,000,001 reason that these bible thumping wing nuts need to be completely booted out of control of our government. I have already savaged the whole abstinence only policy at a previous post. I forgot how damn funny that I could be in my early dork blogger days and rereading this letter cracked me up.

In America, we have a difficult enough time producing good engineers and do not need to be using tax dollars to convince teens that they will not get any by being one.

HT: YGLESIAS/Cosmic Variance

Mac G's World Post on "abstinence only" as public policy

Big Foot Friday?

Big Foot hunters are claiming to have captured the mysterious manbeast from a North Georgia forest and will display dna proof on Friday.

Now come at least three men — coincidentally all in the Bigfoot business — promising evidence at a Friday news conference in Palo Alto, Calif., that the elusive creature has been found at long last.

“A body that may very well be the body of the creature commonly known as ‘Bigfoot’ has been found in the woods in northern Georgia,” says a news release. It describes the carcass as that of an animal 7 feet 7 inches tall, weighing more than 500 pounds that “looks like it is part human and part apelike.”

The two who claim to have found the mysterious beast in north Georgia — a former cop and a former prison guard — offer Bigfoot expeditions. They’ve teamed up with Tom Biscardi, who’s been searching for and making movies about Bigfoot since 1971.

So the men who benefit financially from Big Foot "expeditions" are the same ones to finally prove to the world its existence? What A Fn Coinky Dink!

I could care less if Big Foot is real or not but I do get a chuckle out of these jokers who feed of potential fake hysteria. I mean just take a look at this Biscardi dbag's website.

This press conference should be a doozy and could be as believable as the Bush Administration's "we do not torture" claims.

Friday is the big day for Big Foot believers
Supposedly Big Foot is already in a cooler
Bush sanctioned a policy of torture

Winchboarding in a Vegas Pool

Even though some of jail bait in this video looks like they should be at a Jonas Brothers concert instead of poolside at a Vegas casino, the wakeboarding or winchboarding display is pretty redunkulous.



Red Bull cola sounds awful too.

HT: My Boy BC

No Doubt in My Mind

Honing my QB skills as a youth in the Nebraska Platte River valley did not provide me any opportunities to chuck a football over mountains like the claims of Uncle Rico.

I am dead serious that my high school senior year football team would have won state if future Heisman winner Eric Crouch did not run wild by scoring 5 TDs in a crushing playoff defeat, which ended my pigskin tossing career. There is no doubt in my mind.





If I only had a time machine and won this ebay auction for Uncle Rico’s Van, then things would have been different with me being RICH.

Oh, 5600 bones sure is a steep price for a plastic containers' salesman.




Ebay Link to Uncle Rico's Van
One of my favorite bloggers, Uncle Rico's Time Machine, wants this van for obvious reason.

Beijing George's Summer Vacation

I wish my summer vacation went down like our dear hated leader, President Bush, aka Beijing George.


(If you are one of the 20 percent of Americans who still believe Bush is awesome, I suggest stop reading)

I was biting through my lip every time the NBC TV producers decided to show Bush at the Olympics. The suits at NBC must not have received the memo stating that nearly 8 out of 10 Americans and an even higher number of world's citizens loathe this Fn guy.



An overwhelming majority of the humans on earth correctly observe Bush royally sucks at his job but somehow his mug was plastered all over the TV at one of the most premier sporting events held on the planet. WTF?

However, China trip jet lag and a little Russia/Georgia military conflict will not impede Bush from partaking in his annual August Crawford brush clearing activity. HEE HAW! I hope he can find time for bike riding and watching Josh Hamilton hit homers for the Rangers.

It was nice of Secretary State Condi Rice to finally halt her vacation short and probable shoe shopping spree to make some hollow public statement on the Russia/Georgia issue which likely gave Putin a good chuckle.

Even though I am cheering all American athletes to win gold and beat those commies in China, I can not ignore how terrible Bush policies of the past 7 years have left America and the world in ruins.

Please carry on with your evening of swimming, gymnastics, beach volleyball and water polo. USA! USA!

OH, Mac G got 1 year older and dirtier today. My only wish is a Bday BJ. SKEET, SKEET, SKEET! I hope that I just did not jinx myself.

• President Bush's negative ratings at 75%

• Beijing George moniker created by angry House GOPers

• Bush Approval at Record Low

• The Public hates George Bush

• Lonely Night in Georgia

• Nothing Will Stop Bush Vacation in Crawford

• An International Conflict can not bother Condi Rice

• While Nawlins drowned, Condi purchased new designer pumps

USA! USA! USA!

The Olympics always get myself, "a liberal hippie commie" pumped up in patriotic cheers for the Red, White and Blue. Michael Phelps' continuous awesome pool performances make Americans care about swimming(for at least a week) and the 4x100 relay USA gold medal comeback victory over those Frenchies was downright sick.

Lebron James put on masterful display at both ends of the court in team USA's blowout victory over China. 7 more basketball victories left to take home the gold and reclaim America's world hoop domination.







I am out of town chillin with the fam and I will resume posts on Wednesday. WORD, USA USA USA!! Mac G

Pix courtesy of Getty Images/Yahoo Sports

"We're Moving Forward"

F U McCarthy! F U Ted "Prick" Thomspon! F U Murphy! The following picture is a total nightmare.


It makes me want to weep like a baby.

Is it too early to start drinking?

Just to be on the record and answer the mocking questions of my friends, I will NOT be cheering for the Fn Jets. Go Pack Go!

Link Whores

• Kangaroo boxing looks entertaining. Blog of Hilarity

• The suits in Bristol are sweating about not catching this F Bomb on the ESPN commercial. Yep Yep

• This compilation of hot babe gallery links will make Friday's time hour glass expire much quicker. Bright Black Internet

• I have a friend who works at the Library of Congress so it might be time to ask him about this mother of all porn collections that I KNOW is still in their possession. Banned In Hollywood

• Jennifer Ellison makes your calendar sticky. Sqwable

• I am having hard time dealing with Favre being traded to the Jets but Simon was happy with the news, well, at least for a day. Simon on Sports

• Gmoney unloads on a variety of sports topics in his own sweet crass style. The Money Shot

• Winnie Cooper can still make many grown men swoon and this could help with her book sales. Cuzoogle

• Download a new Trey song at Brahsome.

• Jai ranks the top arrests in the Urban Meyer UF era. Loser With Socks

• Check out this awesome sign to keep away hos. Tasty Booze

• Video of Rage Against the Machine rocking "Killing in the Name of" at Lollapalooza. Afrojacks

• This footage of a volleyball tourney makes me want to move to Cali. Busted Coverage

• Abigail Clancy is a smoking WAG. Next Round

• I agree sometimes chicks with bad ass ink can be smoking hot. Hottest Girl's of MySpace

• Justin Timberlake needs some cookies with those jugs of milk. Flatusyahu

• DC Scrap is charitable guy with these Gemma Atkinson's calendar pix. On 205th

• The Cheerleader King digs up some Raven Cheerleaders. Don Chavez

• Kate Moss likes to bang old creepy dudes. DeRober

• Top 10 list of why Lebron should play overseas. The Angry T

Favre Drama Ends in Packers Mourning

My phone blew up late last night like a Pimp's cell at the Summer Olympics as friends were texting me to go buy a Jets number 4 jersey. My thoughts all over the map but the JETS? WTF?

Check back for my emotional rant on Favre's diva behavior, Aaron Rodgers being the next Jay Fiedler and the egotistical prick Packers GM, Ted Thompson.

Favre is no longer a PACKER!!

UPDATE: This post is spot on describing the newfound Packer fan haters of Favre.

This comment on a Packer Geeks Blog post sums up most of my feelings about Brett Favre no longer being the QB for the Pack but the New York Jets.

cheese0317 Says:

I remember, when I was little my Dad cursing Lynn Dickey’s crooked legs and limp arm. I remember hoping David Whitehurst could be a better answer, hoping that he might lead them to the playoffs. I remember growing older, and more skeptical about Rich Campbell. The Randy Wright fiasco seemed hopeless. Anthony Dilweg isn’t worth mentioning. The Packers were a joke, a loser, and some whispered that the town might never be able to field a champion. Then came Don Majkowski’s torn rotator cuff. The most glorious torn rotator cuff in the history of my life.

The Favre Era dawned.

Over the next 16 seasons, Favre started every game and during that period no team in the NFL had a better win-loss record. Favre vomited blood on the sidelines and then returned to the field to rocket a touchdown pass. Favre played his best game, a must-win game for the Pack, 24 hours after the unexpected death of his father, his best friend. Favre won a Super Bowl. Let me repeat that: Favre won a Super Bowl. Off the field, Favre never bitched about money, and only renegotiated his contract when the Packers needed cap space.

On the field, Favre played with joy. He never posed, or gloated or whined. He played, and he celebrated and he scolded himself for his mistakes. On the field, he won more games and threw more touchdowns (and interceptions) than any person ever in the history of the NFL.

On the back of this success, Green Bay returned to its glory. It became a place where free agents came to play, and a stop on the road to the division championship. And, we’ll repeat this for emphasis: During Favre’s 16 years in Green bay, no team in the NFL had a better record. The Packers returned to the Super Bowl, rebuilt their stadium, their practice facility, and their image as a winner. They brought the Lombardi Trophy back to Titletown.

Favre was not the only person responsible for all of that. But the 3-time MVP was the most important factor.

And here it is in black and white:

Ted Thompson just traded away the best quarterback in the NFC last year, the best player in Packers history, the quarterback with more wins and touchdowns than any other quarterback in history of the league, who is coming off a pro-bowl season with 13 wins, a run deep into the playoffs and the best completion percentage of his career … for a middling draft pick.

The three quarterbacks remaining on the roster have 0 NFL starts, and one TD between them. The team is one injury away from being forced to start a rookie under center.

There is not much you could say to convince me that this isn’t negligent management.

Ted Thompson spent the better part of five weeks doing everything in his power to keep Favre from playing for the team, apparently so that Ted could play his draft choice. You can moan and groan all you want about Favre changing his mind about retiring. You can pick over the clumsy, disingenuous PR volleys from both sides and the bickering.

But fact is: Thompson could have had Favre as QB this year, and he stubbornly clung to lazy metaphors and a decision he made a month ago (perhaps three years ago) to “move on”. Thompson has to take responsibility for that decision.

Regarding this entire saga, I will say this: Favre deserved better. The fans deserved better. I do not and never will understand how a Packer fan who has watched Favre play could ever categorize him in the same category as malcontent wideouts who are more interested in paydays than wins of the field. I will never understand how Favre changing his mind about playing outweighs the fact that he is the greatest instinctual quarterback in the game, the best chance for a Super Bowl this year.

I don’t understand the animosity from so many fans, and frankly I’m not much in the mood to have someone try to explain it to me again. I think those people have forgotten. Forgotten last season. Forgotten the 15 seasons prior. Forgotten Favre vomiting blood on the sideline. And forgotten all those years we suffered through Dickey, Whitehurst, Wright, Campbell, Majkowski.

I don’t agree with those who argue that Favre’s poor sense of strategic career planning justifies his rejection. I never will agree with that. Let’s leave it at that.

And let’s leave at this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-6Ny_eErqs

Calvin and Jobs

If you have ever felt financially bent over by Steve Jobs and his modified Apple products, click to enlarge those two images full of hilarious Calvin and Jobs' cartoons.




HT: Gizmodo

Totally Hot Bitches

I am going back on a promise to not show anything Paris Hilton related on this site but this Funny or Die video is pretty hilarious. I was just shocked that she did yell "DRILL, DRILL" like pandering pols.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Fear the Cougar

The outstanding humor in this headline is only equaled by the DC local Channel 4 news TV report, which details the loose cougar on the campus of the University of Maryland in College Park. The unintended comedy is off the charts.

Being a long time aficionado of the female cougar species, local authorities are looking in the wrong direction. In CP, go to the bar Bentley's, Frat Row, or a few main dormitories. Luckily for male students, maybe the loose cat probably looks like these two roll royce cougs:






Buck up young Terrapin men, tonight could be the night you become real Cougar prey.

For a refresher on the term "Cougar", check out Cougar Speed Dating.

Four report spotting cougar at U.Md.
Large, Wild Cat Spotted On UMD Campus
Cougar Speed Dating

Mad props to TV Tan line for the pictures and the site has more Weeds stills.

Ludacris Obama is Here

The new Luda Obama song is tizzite but of course with all rap music which speaks about the truth, "it is controversial" because the corporate media has their never ending slanted narrative against Hip Hop. I still blame Tipper Gore, Bill Clinton, and C Delores Tucker for the origins.

Are there still more relevant lyrical lines in 2008 than Public Enemy's "Fight the Power," or Tupac's "they got money for wars but cant feed the poor?" or Biggie's "you are either slinging crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot."
I will refrain from a long rant and check out the Luda video.



I watched a simple rap song with clever lyrics. The media will paint another guilt by association picture of Obama because he admitted to liking Luda's music so that must mean he wrote that song!!! Naturally, Obama is now forced to reject the song. This is so dumb.

However, it is refreshing that Obama knows the words to a Snoop Dogg song.



I would rather see Obama butcher a Snoop tune than parody a Beach Boys song about creating another war in the middle east like John McCain.




NWA's Fight the Power video
Tupac's Keep Ya Head Up video
Notorious B.I.G's Things Done Change video
Obama brushes off Luda lyrics

Meet the Next Football Freak: Jelani Jenkins

I am not a big fan of these internet sites obsessed over high school athletes and I refuse to pay their hostage fees to get a glimpse inside the fickle minds of teenagers choosing colleges but I came across some video of uber stud Jelani Jenkins that blew me away.

Jenkins is a star RB/LB for Good Counsel High School, a power house prep school in a Maryland suburb of DC. Some feel Maryland has the inside track because his teammate and good friend Caleb Porzel recently committed to the Terps and it near his Silver Spring, Maryland home. Penn State is rumored to be high on his list as well.

I was equally impressed with Jenkins off the field as the nation's top ranked LB recruit has near perfect grades and aspires to be an architect or study kinesiology.

My favorite highlight is when Jenkins runs down a WR from 20 yard behind the play and strips the ball. You can not teach this speed and hitting ability.

Some of the videos repeat highlights but they are definitely worth watching again.







I might have to make trek out to the burbs to watch Jenkins bone crush some dudes this fall.

The Rapid Rise of Jelani Jenkins
Jenkins Rivals Profile
Terps Landing Local DC Area Talent


Mac G's World

A True Story to Preview American Olympic Domination in China

A newly minted Mac G's World correspondent, Lil John Stud, is living it up in Beijing this summer. He recently improved diplomatic relations with China in the best way possible by skinning hot Chineese poon.

Hopefully the following story that my American friend emailed is a precursor to many US Olympic golds, specifically Team USA restoring the order in world basketball dominance.

Imagine this:

You are in an exotic city with all kinds of crazy and interesting shit going on but you are really horny and havent' gotten laid in months in spite of the fact you have met like a million beautiful women. So... you make plans to travel. Your plan is to go to towns and cities, to borders, dams and demilitarized zones.

You plan to go to Inner Mongolia, a place best known for riding horses in expansive fields of grass and flowers. Why? -to get away from 'it all' and try to forget about how horny you are, of course. Your trip gets delayed because you have guests, and this increases your urgency to travel.

Then, two days before you leave, the most beautiful of the million women you met demands to come to your dorm room and take a shower at 3pm in the afternoon. Out of your mouth comes, "Hmmmm... I guess that would be alright" and inside, you say " I am the happiest and pimpiest mother fucker in the world! there is a god! Oh God! Oh God! I will never doubt your existence again. Oh God! Oh God!" and "I hope the cleaning lady replaced my bed sheets today!?!?!?".

You ditch your guests by saying you HAVE to do laundry RIGHT NOW and bike your ass back to your building as fast as your piece of shit bike will permit without it completely disintegrating into the air that is 60% saturated with aluminum oxide, anyways.

You run to your room, grab all of the hanging and not-yet-dry clothes off the line and throw them in the closet and under the bed. Then you dissect your junk drawer, find two very old condoms, praise Buddha, Allah, Jesus Shuttlesworth, Jah Rastafari and the Spaghetti Monster for their existence and strategically place/hide the condoms to within reach of the bed.

She calls when she arrives, you say you will be right down as you are changing your sweat drenched shirt, quickly brush your tongue and gums and fix your hair. You go get her and bring her to your room. She takes a shower and you wash her. It's awesomely awesome and all goes according to fantasy.

While the statuesque and exotic beauty (see the hottest of my new facebook friends) is making sweet love making sounds, she says she wants to do it every day and that you shouldn't go to Inner Mongolia because she says, 'I am Inner Mongolia'. Wow.

What do you do?

My guess is Lil John Stud yelled "OKAAAAAAYYY" to her question and someone will have to pick him up a Inner Mongolia souvenir because he probably still is in bed.

Mad Props to Flatusyahu for the hot photo and much more at this link.



Mac G's World

"His Name is Pablo Escobar, No, Oh, Yunel Escobar, Sorry"

This Harry Caray impression by Atlanta Braves pitcher Will Ohman while he introduced his team's lineup is spot on and pure comedy. My only request would be to reference food or hot girl fans as Harry loved to observe both quite often in the announcing booth.



HT: Awful Announcing/ The 700 Level

The Tijuana Tornado Whirls Down Miguel Cotto

There is nothing in sports like a great championship boxing match between 2 elite fighters and the Saturday night fight between Miguel Cotto/Antonio Margarito fits that description. I purchased the pay per view event and it was the best 59 bones I had spent in awhile.

Cotto, the undefeated champion, controlled the early rounds of the fight by landing vicious blows. Margarito, nicknamed the "Tijuana Tornado," took the shots relentlessly but did not go down and fired back with his own combinations. The flurry of punches in the 2nd round by both fighters was boxing at its best.

The crowd was electric with Margarito's Mexican fans chanting throughout the fight and Cotto's large Puerto Rican contingent responding in cheers.

The momentum of the fight swung towards Margarito in the 6th round and he dominated Cotto in the 7th by landing 29 more power punches. Cotto was visibly stunned and cut with blood gushing.

Cotto fought back in the subsquent rounds and kept tagging Margarito with pin point punches, however, Margarito never was phased. His superior stamina and reach along with his stone chin proved to be the difference. Cotto's legs finally gave way in the 11th and the bloodied, battered champion went down to a knee twice. His corner threw in the towel and Margarito's impressive upset was official.

This improbable outcome now cancels out Cotto'sfuture fight and huge payday with Oscar De Le Hoya.














Cotto has nothing to be ashamed of because he brought his A boxing game and the majority of fighters would have relented to his powerful shots. Margarito did not succumb and he could take a punch better than any boxer that I have ever witnessed.

Be sure to watch this likely fight of the 2008 nominee on HBO replay next weekend.

• An awesome live ringside account

• Punch stats of fight

• Margarito too tough for Cotto

• The Cotto/Magarito aftermath

• Round By Round Analysis

Props to Yahoo Sports/Getty Images for the pictures.

"Reggen Please"

Stephen Colbert gives background about the ColorofChange.org Petition against Fox news, which is led by my favorite MCs of all time, Nas. The popular rap artist has a track out on his new untitled album against Fox called, "slyfox." Colbert's beloved "Papa Bear" O'Reily predictably has ripped on Nas in the past and Nas is calling out Papa Bear's beef.


The Colbert/Nas interview almost made me piss my pants as the Gangsta Host "popped some truth in his ass." The hilarious exchange starts at 13:30.

Nas Interview