Merry Xmas from Heff

HT: Huff Po

Happy Times in Lames USA

Cyclone fan's anger is misguided and they should really be rejoicing that Chizik bolted from town. Their ire needs to be focused on the inept Iowa State AD, Jamie Pollard, who is all sizzle and no steak.

HT: College Gameballs

More GP and CWeb, Please

Nene delivers a nasty facial cram on Yao.



GP and CWeb get loose in studio.



These 2 crack me up every time I watch them on NBA TV. GP needs his own reality show as he is one man walking entertainment.

HT: Skeets at Yahoo Sports Blogs

Favre for Senator?

Some Viqueen fan really wanted Favre to be their QB and could not let go of that idea even in the voting booth. The above image is of a real ballot during the ongoing Al Franken/ Norm Coleman recount. Oh, F U Ted Thompson. Whew, I feel much better.

HT: Five Thirty Eight

Congrats CP3

Hornets guard Chris Paul set a NBA record last night by grabbing at least one steal in 106 straight consecutive games. I love me some CP3 and every young guard should model their game after him.




Props to Yahoo and Getty Images for Photos

Barry the Freshman Baller

Since this article and this link put me in serious depression, I needed a pick me up.
These pictures of Barry O chillin as a 19 year old lifted my spirits slightly. His hat is pretty P.I.M.P.






If anyone out there wants to know how our economy imploded and is on a fixed path of utter misery that none of us have ever experienced in our lifetimes, read this insightful article.

It is authored by respected Economist Joseph E. Stiglitz.

He was one of the few wise smart people not blinded by ideology and engaged in only wishful thinking for analysis. Stiglitz predicted in real time that our housing bubble would pop and the US financial markets would collapse, sending the world into a financial free for all of epic proportions.

For a nation that loves winners, I am amazed the number of people that still have credibility in our public media discourse after being WRONG about the two biggest issues of this current generation, the Economy and the Iraq War. Before any of my GOP friends jump all over this statement, it includes several pro war and Corporate owned Democrats as well. Complicit Democrats were guilty in these destructive policies too.

I wish that I could be more cheerful around Christmas and post more funny stuff because it sucks dealing with reality and we all need our release from the BS of life but I am genuinely scared for the financial well beings of my friends and family, along with all struggling Americans, who are losing their homes and jobs every single day in droves.

( A good friend with a wife and 2 small boys just lost his job last week. He is a big Republican too but now is not the time for me to score political cheap shots at his beliefs. I empathize with his troubles and think about the stress that he is going through quite often.)

I just hope we understand what caused this meltdown and see the genuine failure of this 30 year free market ideology run amok so that it never happens again. I have my doubts because of the strangle hold of Corporate owned media and the perpetual propaganda campaign of disinformation by the Fox "News" channel.

Our citizen's small attention spans and thirst for simple answers, propelled by an idiotic sound bite driven cable news culture, only hinders us from realizing the truth in complex situations.

Anyway, I will get back to bitching about sports, life, and highlighting hot poon in future posts. word, Mac G.

Here are several links to items that have given me a serious case of the blues.

• Goldman Sachs Group Inc., which got $10 billion and debt guarantees from the U.S. government in October, expects to pay $14 million in taxes worldwide for 2008 compared with $6 billion in 2007. Bloomberg

• The Darwin Depression: Time To Say Goodbye To How It Should Have Never Been. James Boyce at Huff Po

• Capitalist Fools by Joseph Stiglitz at Vanity Fair

• The news media is happily parroting the official government pronouncements and those of its minions while ignoring my tragic story of love lost, and so they all join together to report that unemployment is 6.7%, while just up the street, the McKinsey Global Institute says that it estimates that the unemployment rate in the United States is actually 16.25%, and here's John Williams at shadowstats.com putting it at 16.5%! Booman Tribune
  

• 60 Minutes report: Second wave of mortgage meltdown coming in wake of "real-estate orgy." Cajun Boy in the City

• ZIRP!aka, zero interest rate policy. Paul Krugman

• Sean Hannity: Media Matters' 2008 Misinformer of the Year. Media Matters

Picture of the Day: Iron Mike is Eating More Than Children

I will give Mike kudos for still being alive. I always have proposed the question to friends, "Who kicks it first, John Daly or Tyson?" It was always a toss up but these days, the odds seem to favor Iron Mike to outlive Daly.

HT: The Will Leitch Experience

War Chizik? War Hawkeye State

Auburn fans are pissed Gene Chizik was selected over my man, former Husker great, current Buffalo coach Turner Gill. Iowa State fans are happy to cut an overwhelmed Chizik loose from their lowly program and this guy brings out the knife to Chizik's Cyclown tenure in Lames USA.

Hey Cyclown AD, Jamie Pollard, let me give you a few tips. Iowa will forever be the Hawkeye State, know your place in the pecking order and do not mess with karma by forcing Hawkeye fans to buy Iowa State season tickets so they can watch the Hawks at your crap stadium.

I am not fooled by your crocodile tears either and stop lying about other school's wanting to employ you. Iowa State is the best gig you could get right now with your recent dismal track record. A major school president hiring you would be dumber than firing a 85-40 coach to hire a 5-19 one.

Your only success, Polesmoker, is putting the snake oil salesman hat on and hitting up ISU alumni for money by promising them this winning tradition. You have raised by more money but it just appears to be one big marketing scam and Wall Streetesk Ponzi scheme.

Iowa State football still sucks and now Iowa State basketball is in the dumps.

I will give you credit for only screwing people out of millions and not billions like Bernie Madoff.

Luckily, Chizik will be a good scapegoat to save your hide for a few more seasons and blame your own inefficiencies on others.

Never forget Pollarcock, Iowa is the HAWKEYE State. Welch Ave will ALWAYS suck compared to the Ped Mall. The Cyclown study body has come to grips with these facts, time for you to deal with it too, Dbag.

Black Heart Gold Pants breaks down the candidates for the Iowa State job and I think body paint dbag could win at least 6 games in 2 seasons at Lames College. No question he could out maneuver Hawkeye OC Ken O'Keefe for an upset victory, which usually marks the climax of the Cyclown football fan's existence.

America's Hype Team

I can not stand the sports media's obsession with covering the internal dramas of the Dallas Cowboys. Pac Man Jones, TO, Romo, Bill Parcells, Jerry Jones, etc. They always get prime time spots on ESPN's shows.

I understand they are supposedly still America's team or whatever, but this franchise has not won a NFL playoff game in over 12 years. Twelve Fn years!!

This is similar logic to political pundits still labeling America a "center right" country even though the "left" team just kicked the right's ass in the past two electoral contests and the GOP has dwarfed into a predominantly Southern regional party.

Anyway, could you imagine the way ESPN would slam the Cowboys down our throats, if they were, um, actually, um, good? Good God, the horror!

As a Packers and NFL fan, I will still be pissed either way. It is a no win situation and I guess the hollow Cowboys hype is much better than actual substantive promotion based on playoff success.

The Sporting Blog's Romo/Witten napkin creation is comedic gold.



I did not even bring up that Troy Aikman, who I actually enjoy, does color commentary for what it seems like at least 8 Cowboy games every season.

Flippin Da Shoes

During yesterday's press conference, an Iraqi journalist launched his shoes at President Bush. Throwing shoes at someone is an tremendous insult in Middle Eastern culture and the act seems similar to flipping someone off. We love to toss the bird in America and it is the universal hand sign for millions of road ragers.

Here is the shoe video:



Is Bush America over yet?

More Screen shots of the shoe toss can be found at America Blog.

Name that Goon

It's time to play Name That Goon! Rod Blagojevich vs. Tony Soprano.

Can you identify the speaker of the ten quotes below?

1. "Unless I get something real good...shit, I'll just send myself, you know what I'm saying."

2. "What the fuck am I, a toxic person or something?"

3. "Log off, that "cookies" shit makes me nervous!"

4. "They're not willing to give me anything except appreciation. Fuck them."

5. "You got no fuckin' idea what it's like to be number one. Every decision you make affects every facet of every other fucking thing."

6. "I've got this thing and it’s fucking golden, and I'm just not giving it up for fuckin' nothing. I'm not gonna do it. And I can always use it. I can parachute me there."

7. "That motherfucker's full of shit. He's shaking me down."

8. "Our recommendation is fire all those fucking people, get 'em the fuck out of there..."

9. "I could have made a larger announcement but wanted to see how they perform by the end of the year. If they don't perform, fuck 'em."

10. "Jesus Christ! The money I've been dropping in here, I could've bought a fuckin' Ferrari."



Answers:
Tony Soprano: 2, 3, 5, 7, 10
Governor Blagojevich: 1, 4, 6, 8, 9

The Daily Beast

Cougar Q

I only know one person who actually subscribes to GQ and it could be time to pick this issue up.
This movie looks promising and I want to know who the other Cougar Co Star will be.

Aniston's next film called Pumas, which she calls "sort of a female Wedding Crashers" about two "aspiring cougars":

"It is so a comment on the sexual double standard, and what's been ironic is how hard it's been to get this movie made... Studios want it, but they are afraid of Middle America. They'd want to change it; they're saying, 'Oh, you can't do that, people just can't imagine you..."

Sorry Jen but this cover makes dudes imagine many things and young men around America would love to be your Cougar snack.

The Joe Biden VP Plate

This is some funny stuff.

Barry & the Stump

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Barry & the Stump

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

Imagine

John Lennon sure was on to something with this no wars and peace thing. Unfortunately, there are no corporate profits in governments promoting world peace and tranquility.

In memory of Lennon's death 28 years ago yesterday, here is his Imagine video.

NYC Boots Poon

My poon ninja hunting skills are well documented here, here and here. My recent trip up to the fashionable Manhattan provided me an opportunity to seek a new type of pooners: NYC Boots Poon.











Yes, I am one dirty ole bastard but my better half, Miss So Belle, begrudgingly participated with me in this photo activity so I feel slightly vindicated/cleaner. Now, the hostage fee for my poon hunting vice is to hook her up with Uggs boots for Xmas. I believe this is a fair deal.

Oh, there is much more to come NYC poon forthcoming in future posts.

Way You Walk

The Papas Fritas song, "Way You Walk", just added some joy to my Mundane Monday in Cube World. The You Tube video is pretty sick.

Dear Ted Thompson

Karma is a Bitch!

Sincerely a bitter and pissed off Packers fan,

Mac G

Whack a Beamer

HT:Sports By Brooks

MMMMMM Beer

I highly recommend this article about the Dogfish Head Brewery based in Delaware. It is best to print the 12 page feature out and you will thank me later.

My budget is more of a PBR/High Life variety but I do have Dogfish Head in the beer splurge rotation. The Dogfish IPA is delicious and their seasonal Ales are mighty tasty too.

After reading the insightful New Yorker piece, I want to become a brew master and go celebrate Repeal Day with a Dogfish sixer.

Dogfish founder and owner Sam Calagione could be my new BFF. Dude sounds like a crazy beer rock star. Plus, it is way past time to for me to hit up the brewery location and restaurant in Rehoboth beach.

Yo Sam, the beer King, I will work blog PR for Beer. hollar at macgsworld@gmail.com.

This free Mac G endorsement is on me and my loyalty can be easily purchased in tasty suds.

• New Yorker Article: A Better Brew

• Dogfish Head

Jones' Big Ass Truck Rental & Storage

Toby Jones is as dope as the come.


HT: The High Definite

Happy Repeal Day! The 21st Amendment Rulz!!

Today, December 5th, marks the 75th anniversary of the 21st amendment being enacted and the official ending of prohibition. The booze blackout lasted from 1920-1933 and of course, the great social experiment policy was an utter disaster:

It did reduce overall consumption of alcohol in the U.S., but that reduction came largely among those who consumed alcohol responsibly. The actual harm caused by alcohol abuse was made worse, thanks to the economics of prohibitions.

Black market alcohol was of dubious origin, unregulated by market forces. The price premium that attaches to banned substances made the alcohol that made it to consumers more potent and more dangerous. And, of course, organized crime rose and flourished thanks to the new market created by the 18th Amendment and the Volstead Act.

So hospitalizations related to alcohol soared. And so did violent crime. Corruption flourished, as law enforcement officials in charge of enforcing prohibition went on the take, from beat cops all the way up to the office of the United States Attorney General. Even the U.S. Senate had a secret, illegal stash of booze for its members and their staffs.

Our current government's never ending futile war on drugs and the prohibition's ineffective results are eerily similar bankrupt public policies.

There's no question that drug prohibition has been every bit the failure alcohol prohibition was. Nearly 40 years after the CSA passed, we have 400,000 people in prison for nonviolent drug crimes; a domestic police force that often looks and acts like an occupying military force; nearly a trillion dollars spent on enforcement, both here and through aggressive interdiction efforts overseas; and urban areas that can resemble war zones.

Yet illicit drugs like cocaine and marijuana are as cheap and abundant as they were in 1970. The street price of both drugs has actually dropped—dramatically—since the government began keeping track in the early 1980s.

The main difference between the two prohibitions is that one was enacted lawfully, and once it became clear that it had failed, we repealed it (and government revenues soared with new alcohol taxes). As the drug war has failed, the government merely claims more powers to fight it more aggressively.

Hopefully, sane political leaders will someday realize the economic benefits to legalizing and regulating marijuana but I highly doubt it. My main man, Professor Juan Cole, sure does see the ganja light.

We will have to wait until Generation X gets totally in power and these old hippie hating bastards die off. I will refrain my the thousand word rant that I want to unleash about the US government's draconian laws, especially under George W Bush, against pot heads for now because this is a day of celebration and remembrance.

It is very weird that the state of Utah, home to the gay and booze hating Mormons, cast the deciding vote to repeal prohibition.

Would college be as fun, could ugly people hook up, or weddings and family events seem tolerable without booze? Booties Calls, the Walk of Shame, Happy Hour Heroes, Liquid Lunches, Drunk Dialing, Late Night Food runs are only made possible because of booze. Tailgating and alcohol go hand in hand.

Man, I am getting thirsty and my shakes are starting earlier than normal so I better stop. Go get a cocktail, a buzz and wake up with something strange tomorrow.

The Puritans and moral police suffered a huge defeat 75 years ago today. Hip Hip HOORAY!

Happy Repeal Day!


Aw Shit, It's Friday Craig..........Puff, Puff, Give

Link Whores: Coed Edition

• Bombshell model Adriana Lima has a Christmas wish. Bright Black Internet

• This Lil John Mashup is hilarious. Yep Yep

• DC digs up 10 words that sound dirty but are not. Whenever the gym teacher said the word "shuttlecock" during badminton instruction, juvenile laughter always ensued. Don Chavez

• ER is finally being put down and here is a list of 8 hottest women from the show's history. Salty Milk

• Turning empty booze bottles into Christmas ornaments is pure genius! Tasty Booze

• It appears Arod may already be prowling for some hot model strange to get away from that sheman Madonna. Machochip

• The Real Battle in the Desert: Sundevil Poon vs Wildcat Poon. Busted Coverage

• The Flight of the Concords will be showing the first episode of their second season online. Cuzoogle

• Only G Money could use some analogy of dropping a deuce with a laptop to Charlie Weis coming back to Notre Dame for one more season. The Money Shot

• According to this funny gmail chat with Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny loves to thump some fat chicks. Brahsome

• Angelina Jolie is a nut job but a smoking hot MILF. On 205th

"Prop 8- The Musical"

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Nuggets Power

HT:Oliver Willis

Post Holiday Blues

Anyone still recovering from the post 4 day off blues? I needed something or one to laugh at and these videos do the trick.




The video will not embed and the idiot soccer fan running on the field gets rocked by an angry player.



Cajun Boy tipped me off to this hilarious video creator, Mr. ChiCity. He has a running series on You Tube and the way he breaks down the contents of his fridge almost made my sides explode. It is even funnier the second time and I recommend headphones for the NSFW language.

Peter Schiff Needs a Show

Peter Schiff needs his own TV show because being right is suppose to count for something in America. (Longtime Iraq and Drug war opponents like myself would disagree with that argument.)

Unfortunately, in accountability free TV pundit land, having strong opinions matter more than if those predictions turn out to be correct. No wonder this country is screwed financially when us regular schmucks are fed this optimistic crap on a daily basis by the Corporate owned media and no one ever just levels with us.

The video will blow you away by two things: how scary spot on Schliff is in his prognosis and the smarmy, huffy reaction by the pro Bush economy bubble cheerleaders.



To recap: Wash Mutual went belly up in the largest bankruptcy in US history, the financial sector is on its way to be fully nationalized, the Dow is down 40% in 2008 with the average index around 8K and GoldMan Sachs is trading for 60 bucks a share.

Schiff is turning into an online star and You Tube still fn rocks.

HT: My Left Wing Diary

I am Back

The Turkey Holiday hiatus is over and my three loyal readers looking for sophomoric entertainment can rest assured that I am back in the blogger dork saddle.

My thoughts on the BCS Big 12 controversy, Plaxico, ESPN's awfulness, Starbury Knicks drama and other sports related topics will be detailed in a long upcoming post. More Poon Cowbell is on this week's menu as well. For now, here is some bikini action to start December off with a bang.

Exterminate the Rodents, Roast the Pig, & Sex Up Your Bathrooms

The Hawkeyes pounded the Golden Gophers 55-0 on Saturday evening to close out a 8-4 regular season. The A$$ kicking was historic:

The Hawkeyes (8-4, 5-3 Big Ten) handed the Gophers their most lopsided defeat in the 102-year history of the series and their worst home loss ever in conference play. In the Kirk Ferentz era, it was Iowa's most one-sided Big Ten win and the first shutout for the Hawkeyes in the league. Iowa rolled up 483 yards, limited the Gophers to 134, including minus-7 rushing, and held Minnesota to six first downs.

After the Rodents were exterminated for good, it was time for the Hawks to hoist Floyd of Rosedale and have another pig roast party.


Due to the Rodents moving into a new on campus stadium in 2008, this game was the last in the Metrodome, aka Kinnick North. Two adulterous Hawk fans made sure it was a memorable going away bash.

Two Iowa football fans were caught having sex in a bathroom stall at the Metrodome during Saturday’s Minnesota-Iowa game.

According to a police report, a Metrodome security officer saw two people having sex in a handicapped stall after noticing two sets of feet with underwear dropped to the ground.

A group of 15 onlookers were gawking at the scene by the time officers broke the couple up and wrote them misdemeanor citations.

This is my favorite part:

The officer arrived and separated the two. The 38-year-old female and the 26-year-old male, both in town from Iowa, were cited for indecent conduct before being released, respectively, to their husband and girlfriend.

Who says the only way to get busy in a men's stall in Minneapolis is by a game of foot tapping? The Hawkeye Cougar found her prey and the dude obliged. Unless this is some epic swingers club, I would love to have a seat at both of their respective Thanksgiving Day tables.

Hawkeye Nation did behave on the field by not attempting to rip the goal posts out of the stadium like in 2002. This video still gives me goose bumps.



Oh, I was on the field and it was awesome. I gave my buddy Racho a high five as he rolled by me at the midfield with the goal posts in his arms.

Shonn Greene for Heisman!!

Props to Black Heart Gold Pants for the Pictures

Update: The dudes at BHGP have weighed on this classic story quicker than a drunk mowing down a Ped Mall Gyro at 2:30am. They always bring the funny:

Since the two weren't arrested, we're denied the richer-than-chocolate privilege of seeing mugshots. I, for one, hope the lady's either really hot or just beastly. No half-stepping here.

But that's not even the best part of the story. The two Iowa fans (as if there was any doubt at all) were both in a committed relationship. Just, uh, not with each other. The police released the man to his girlfriend, and the woman to her husband. Yeah. She came up from Iowa to the game with her spouse, and couldn't make it the whole game without sneaking into the men's room and getting filled up by some dude a dozen years younger while a bunch of people cheer them on.

MMMM, In Heaven.........

Bruce Rocks at Ping Pong

Mmmmm Bacon

Bacon lovers should check out Men's Fitness's 14 revolutionary uses for America's favorite meat.

Using the google,I found some killer Homer Simpson's bacon quotes.

Crunk It Up

The weekend is starting early and my heart rate just exploded by this bootie shakin.



I kept waiting for the Dirk Diggler wannabee to enter the room with his long fire hose. Oh Well, Happy Fryday Fockers!!

Little Jack

Anthony Morrow, an undrafted rookie for the Golden State Warriors, shocked the NBA world by busting out with 37 points on 15/20 shooting and pulling down 12 rebounds in his first NBA start. He followed up the next game by pouring in 25 points against Portland on Tuesday.

ESPN's John Hollinger calls Morrow a poor man's Michael Redd but the nickname given to the former Georgia Tech star by his new teammates made my evening. "Little Jack"

SF Gate:Within weeks of coming to the Warriors, Morrow had earned the nickname "Little Jack" because he reminded people of Stephen Jackson, whom he resembles from a distance. (In college, he went by A-Mo.) Jackson welcomed the comparison and decided to quasi-adopt the rookie.

"I always like the underdog," Jackson said. "I root for them in movies. I root for them in sports. ... Players who make it when they're not drafted, I love their attitudes. Last year, I said C.J Watson was my son. Now, he's got a brother."

Big Jack


Little Jack




Anthony Morrow Draft Express Bio

My Morning Jacket Rocking in a Taxi Cab

I love me some MMJ and this is pretty sick. Lead Singer Jim James can howl with the best of them.



HT: The Sugar Sheet

Too Fast

The first man bullet is always a little quicker to fire out of the chamber.




Props to the Slow, Big Shooter: The Notorious DEK.

Hippie Poon Part Trees

Busted!!!